A Bear-ican Top 40 – Part Two

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Welcome back from the break. And on with the countdown.

Let’s resume at Number…

What’s Your Name
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Peaked at #13


I was never into Skynyrd when I was young. This would have a negative impact on me doing classic rock radio and trying to find anything interesting to say about Southern rock.

I was working, at the start, from a disadvantage. But you find ways to enjoy what you’re doing with the music as you go, and eventually you appreciate the sound on its own merits.

And while What’s Your Name was never my favorite Skynyrd track (that varies between several songs, believe it or not), the horn-drenched tale of life on the road has a good tongue in its cheek.

Not bad for a band I thought was something the burnouts listened to in my school days, before hair metal was A Thing. 7

Lay Down Sally
Eric Clapton
Peaked at #3


A country-rock shuffle cowritten by one half of Shakespeare’s Sister (Marcy Levy), its low-key crossover charm has been muted for me by its singer’s sour worldview. It’s a bit disappointing to discover that Clapton wasn’t God after all, but a closed-minded mortal,

But for purposes of all this word salad by me, I’ll rate the record as I recalled it, hearing it on AM country radio for an extended period of the late-‘70s and early-‘80s.

Not quite my idea of fun anymore, but back in the day it was a train bound for nowhere, and the scenery was fine. 7

Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood
Santa Esmeralda
Peaked at #15


There’s nothing so metal as a Latin disco cover of a classic rock staple.

You don’t expect the Gipsy Kings-approach to work on a 1960s emo-rock howl to the one whose heart you don’t dare break, but four-on-the-floor and florid Latin guitars, matched to a percussive Latin rhythm, that’s the stuff that brings the drama.

It can add up to be too much, but I never objected to vivid drama done well. 8

Desiree
Neil Diamond
Peaked at #16


The Summer of ’42 pop song is a crazy thing. From Garth Brooks’ That Summer to Bobby Goldsboro’s Summer (The First Time), you expect the temperature to come up to a simmer one way or another.

Not with Neil, though. He plays to the back row, possibly as far out as the BQE, and does so with this plush, bouncy pop beat that comes over like the centerpiece of this upbeat jukebox musical.

In anyone else’s hands, it might be pretty damn awkward, but Neil is the ultimate, consummate pro.

It’s tuneful abandon about the first taste of love, unselfconsciously sold, on the third of June, assumably a sleepy, dusty Flatbush day. 7

Peg
Steely Dan
Peaked at #11


It’s no longer my favorite foreign movie.

But it is still fairly smart, upbeat lite-rock, and a sort-of alternate universe take on what the Doobie Brothers might have been in another world. (Thanks loads, Michael McDonald.)

Of the Steely Dan albums, the parent album Aja and its smooth and sophisticated style from front to back made it most accessible to me, and meant I actually spent time liking the music more frequently.

Peg, however, is likely the slightest of the Aja singles for me, though it’s better I think than the almost-sleepy Deacon Blues. 7

I Go Crazy
Paul Davis
Peaked at #7


Speaking of yacht rock as a genre exercise, this song is pretty close to Ground Zero or Atlantis or something like that.

It didn’t invent the genre, but it certainly sounds like it was always ripe for being seen as the first of its kind. Smooth, lugubrious, and emotional, it goes down so easy that you hardly notice the brooding fire beneath.

It would set a record for a while as the song with the longest overall run on the Hot 100, a record it’d keep until Jewel came along later.

And to think Paul wanted Lou Rawls to have a hit with it more than himself. 9

Serpentine Fire
Earth Wind & Fire

Peaked at #13


If I were paid by the word to explain this classic to y’all in the grand scheme of things, I would own Twitter myself by now.

Simply put, the song is about channeling your creative energy, and it’s set to this percussive drum rhythm which resembles a tango.

Maurice White, understandably proud of it, called it “musically abstract”, which fits, to say the least.

More than that, though, it’s a serpentine rhythm punctuated by harmony calls and an insistent cowbell, and the overall effect is to expand your mind to the idea of funk. 10

Hey Deanie
Shaun Cassidy
Peaked at #7


The depth of Shaun’s pop career is owed more to teen girls than strong musical ideas, and no one is liable to suggest he belongs in the Rock Hall anytime soon.

(Although, if they can’t find room for Chic, someone’s likely to make room for Shaun).

But for teen bops, he had some skill, hitting #1 with a gender change on Da Doo Ron Ron, which to my ear isn’t bad.

Hey Deanie, though, isn’t one of them.

It’s this rather anonymous album cut that got promoted, written by Eric Carmen (see: Eric Clapton), and that’s about all there is to it.

It’s hard to expect depth from a teen idol, but even a little color might have kept this from being something better suited for Leif Garrett. 4

You’re in My Heart (The Final Acclaim)
Rod Stewart
Peaked at #4


It’s a paler Tonight’s The Night, let’s be honest, but it’s also a bit quirkier than that #1.

He shouts out his football club Celtic United and an unknown “big-bosomed lady with a Dutch accent”, and it’s covered in country hints like the occasional bit of fiddle, and Britt Ekland is all over this one. Whether it’s sincere depends on how you view “Rod the Sod”, as feckless lover, or old-fashioned gentleman.

For a couple of years, I was kind of partial to this one over Tonight’s The Night. But the deficit has been erased, as this song has retreated to a more simple category of love song.

Britt Ekland speaking French cancels out Beardsley prints. 6

How Deep Is Your Love
Bee Gees
Peaked at #1


If you’re going to aim for romantic sincerity, aim for it like they did in the movies back then: sweet and sentimental and broad strokes, with an air of vagueness.

The first single from Saturday Night Fever has this gentle breeze behind it marking its place in one’s heart, and even the clichés sound real if you push it hard enough.

It’s a simple, graceful stunner. 10

Dance Dance Dance (Yowsah Yowsah Yowsah)
Chic
Peaked at #6


They should be in the Rock Hall, full stop.

The band adapted Motown strategies in their productions without sacrificing what made them so great, with musicianship and style. And on their very first single: they manage to combine cultural touchstones.

Rumba? Check. Latin hustle? Check. They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? Dance-marathon style? Check. And they made it sound like the theme to CHiPs, at a full gallop.

This did what a lot of disco at the end of 1977 could not do, and that is elevate it to passionate art. 9.

Emotion
Samantha Sang
Peaked at #3


Looking back at Beyoncé’s precedent-setting win at the Grammys, I can’t help but to be a bit touched at her shoutout to the queer community, for, if not inventing house music, then finessing an underground movement into a mobilizing force on the dance floor.

It injected a little emotion (see what I did there hmm) into the proceedings and made me realize that she’s good for what ails you. Oh, that Destiny’s Child’s cover of Emotion could have done the same.

The song is stronger than whoever sings it, though, and proof of that falls on Samantha Sang’s shoulders. Her voice is breathy and light and eventually supplanted by a Wall of Bee Gees sound. What she can’t do, they will. This is from the soundtrack of the 1977 Joan Collins movie The Stud, of all things. 6

The Summer of ’42 pop song is a crazy thing. From Garth Brooks’ That Summer to Bobby Goldsboro’s Summer (The First Time), you expect the temperature to come up to a simmer one way or another.

Baby Come Back
Player
Peaked at #1


Slight, offhand loverman drama, dressed up to the nines, at 6’s and 7’s with me (Evita was late in the planning stages, opening in London in June of ’78).

It’s stylish, definitely in yacht-rock mode, and the commercial slickness sounds real good.

But you have to buy what he’s selling, and despite earning respect for singing the words “false bravado”, there’s a certain whininess that Tony Manero would never have attempted.

At least not in public. 5

Sometimes When We Touch
Dan Hill
Peaked at #3


Hold on, folk, it’s about to get squishy in here.

There’s false bravado, and then there’s wallowing. When it comes to the squishy, Dan, you’re soaking in it. It’s not really that the song is kinda wimpy, but more that the singer is singing wimpily.

Dan is a far-to-good lyricist, but he’s not a vocalist, and there’s a lack of presence in his voice that makes me think of the recurring Non-Threatening Boy magazine on older episodes of The Simpsons.

Having written this with 1960s hit-making composer Barry Mann, there’s actually a strong melody here, but it’s buried beneath banality beyond banality. The honesty is the least of things too much. 2

Just The Way You Are
Billy Joel,
Peaked at #3


You might think I go in hard on soft-rock ballads of a certain bygone era. But this is not one of those songs.

It’s Billy writing a love song to his first wife, and there’s something about the soft-focus 1977 touches Phil Ramone brought to Billy’s The Stranger album that changes what could be a TMI ballad about honesty into a fetching portrait of a man telling his wife that facades are not for lovers.

A lot of people mock this song, including Billy and his touring band’s drummer Liberty Devito (who would change the lyrics after Billy divorced his first wife to “She got the house/she got the car.”)

Yet I like the honesty, mixing into the late-night AC feel of the music, making pillow talk seem pleasantly seductive.

And Barry White’s version is even better. 8

Queen
We Are The Champions
Peaked at #4


Contrary to belief, this one was not a five-minute song, of We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions.

The ballad was the A-side in 1977, and the whole thing wouldn’t be an A-side in the US until after Freddie Mercury’s death in 1992, when that version reached #52.

To my ear, the ballad is the weak link, contradicting what scientists said about a decade ago. Sayeth the Pedia of Wiki:

“In 2011, a team of scientific researchers concluded that We Are the Champions was the catchiest song in the history of pop music.”

That, it ain’t. It verges on sanctimony, in fact, even if the melody is strong and the vocals are solid.

It’s all about the words, which…maybe I’m too cynical. 4

Andy Gibb
(Love Is) Thicker Than Water
Peaked at #1


Of the three Andy Gibb songs to hit #1, this one to my memory is the more obscure.

It scans because the lyrics are kind of a bit too Bee Gees-generically obscure. A line before each chorus does it in:

“I can’t leave her while I need her more than she needs you that’s what I’m living for”, presented without line breaks or punctuation or capitalization because that’s the way Andy sings it, which is a long run-on sentence. I’ve never understood it.

Doesn’t matter, though, because the Bee Gees wrap up the warmed salad in a bunch of luxurious production set-ups. It’s so cozy it allows Andy to glide on by unhurried.

It saves the song, but his other two #1 hits were large achievements writ boldly. 6

Short People
Randy Newman
Peaked at #2


Contrary to popular opinion, it is not illegal to play this song in the state of Maryland.

HOWEVER, lest you think I’m BS-ing you, a state legislator gave it the college try in a proposed bill. The only thing stopping him was the state Attorney General, who advised him that the Constitution was a little too busy for his nonsense.

That the rumor persisted in spite of the facts is a sign of just how seriously took Randy at his word about short people. In fact, the point sailed – apparently very high – over many people’s heads.

The song was Randy’s attack, from a character’s POV, on the stupidity of prejudice, meant to shine a light on folly. After the death threats he got faded away, so did Randy’s interest in the song itself.

Come on, kids: any song with a jaunty beat and Glenn Frey, Timothy B. Schmit and J.D. Souther singing back-up on it has to be as innocent as a newborn babe. 7

Stayin’ Alive
Bee Gees
Peaked at #1


Saturday Night Fever was one of my father’s favorite movies.

To be fair, anything with a bit of Brooklyn in it likely rated highly.

That said, though, the opening to that film, with the beats of disco and a close-up on Tony Manero’s shoes walking to the side of an elevated train in Brooklyn, en route to his paint store job, man, that set a tone of excitement very few films since could match. Vibrant, alive, locomotive, and really just inspirational to watch.

It set a high bar that others, including the Bee Gees, found tough to match.

10.


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cstolliver
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February 9, 2023 5:43 am

Great job, again, buddy — and as with the previous one, the few places where we diverge are with the softer sides that I rank higher. Dan Hill gets a 4-7 (4 for the nastily edited 45, 7 for the album version), Andy Gibb also a 7, and in our biggest divergence, I’d give a 9 (maybe even a 10 on a good day) to “Baby Come Back.” Although the Swiffer commercial may play a role in my grading, I’ll admit.

Yeah, on Shaun’s Carmen covers, “That’s Rock and Roll” (which wasn’t) is easily twice as good as “Hey Deanie.”

And if you’re up for over-the-top cheese (which I can be persuaded to indulge in, say, once a year) the 12-inch version of “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” is ridiculously catchy.

Phylum of Alexandria
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February 9, 2023 7:24 am

Methinks Steely Dan was being a bit cheeky with the name “Peg,” especially given the origin of their band name…

JJ Live At Leeds
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February 9, 2023 8:04 am

We Are The Champions is the catchiest song in the history of pop music?! It’s not even the catchiest song on that double a-side.

Looked like things were going downhill with some of those scores in the top but The Bee Gees bookending the top 10 with a pair of 10s offers perfect symmetry and a reassuring sign of quality.

Virgindog
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February 9, 2023 9:51 am

Not to be that guy but “Short People” peaked at #2, not #1.

Now that that’s out of the way, my mental timeline has “Sometimes When We Touch” years before any of the Gibb or Chic stuff on this chart. It just feels like it has to be from the soft rock wave of 1971. Is it just me?

Great work, irishbeartx, can’t wait to see what week your date randomizer picks next!

mt58
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February 9, 2023 8:36 pm
Reply to  irishbeartx

We strive for accuracy. Fixed.

thegue
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February 9, 2023 10:15 am

Fantastic finish! A few thoughts:

  1. My dad took my brother and I (ages 7 and 9) to see Saturday Night Fever in the theaters. It was…uncomfortable to watch with a parent, let alone at that young an age.
  2. We did own the SNF album, and I listened to it regularly. 10
  3. I worked as a camp counselor in the early 90s, and during small group we were encouraged to pick a theme song for our group. Someone chose “Just the Way You Are”, and there were few dry eyes after we’d listened to it together for the first time. It will always have a special place in my heart. 10
  4. On the other hand, “You’re in my Heart” might be the WORST Rod Stewart song, and it is in the running for worst song of the decade. My father bought himself two albums for Christmas that year; the only gifts he’d receive that year (my brother and I got one, a board game called “Tilt”). He played Footloose & Fancy Free incessantly, and I can not stand it even to this day. Silk Degrees by Boz Scaggs has aged much better for me, though it was played just as much as Stewart’s.
  5. I mentioned over at the Mothership my dislike for “Free Bird”, but much of what I said relates to all things Southern Rock, save 38 Special. I also have fond memories of Shaun Cassidy’s #1 hit, as well as his remake of the Lovin’ Spoonful’s “Do You Believe in Magic?”, but no memory of this one.
Zeusaphone
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February 9, 2023 11:59 am

Following up on what I said yesterday, it may surprise you to know that the artists topping the chart today are substantially older than the artists doing so on this chart. Let’s compare the top 10…

The Bee Gees had been around since they broke through as teenagers in the 60’s. In February of 1978 Barry Gibb was 31 and the twins, Maurice & Robin Gibb, were 28.
Randy Newman seemed old, and relative to hitmakers of the time he was. At 34 he’s the oldest artist in the top 10.
The youngest is Andy Gibb, riding his older brothers coattails. He was 19 in early 1978.
Queen was a very boomer band. All four members were born between the mid 40’s and early 50’s. In early 1978 Freddie Mercury was 31, Brian May was 30, Roger Taylor was 28, and John Deacon was 26.
Billy Joel always had middle aged vibe but at this time he was 28.
Dan Hill was just getting his big break at 23.
Player was also a boomer band. JC Crowley was 30, Peter Beckett was 29, John Friesen was 26, and Ronn Moss was 25.
Samantha Sang first broke into the business as a 15 year old. By 1978 she was 26.
Chic was a young band. Nile Rodgers was 25, Bernard Edwards was also 25, Tony Thompson was 23, Norma Jean Wright was 21, and Raymond Jones was 20.
Average age of these artists 26.5

The current top 10

Miley Cyrus was a child star. Hannah Montana has been off the air for 12 years and she is now 30 years old.
SZA is new to the top of the charts but she’s actually been around a long time. She was born in the 1980’s and is 33.
Metro Boomin produced “Tuesday” when he was still in school in 2014. He’s now 29.
The Weeknd starting posting YouTube videos as a teenager in 2009. He’s now 32.
21 Savage released his first mixtape in 2014. He’s now 30.
Taylor Swift was feelin’ 22…eleven years ago. Today she is 33.
Sam Smith’s first record was in 2008 as a teenager. Current age: 30.
Kim Petras likewise released her first record in 2008 as a teenager. She is also 30.
David Guetta has been around forever. He’s now 55.
Bebe Rexha started recording with Pete Wentz in 2011. Like SZA and Taylor Swift, she was born in the 80’s and is 33.
Drake started on DeGrassi as a teenager in 2001. He’s now 36.
Harry Styles had a birthday last week. He turned 29.
Lil Uzi Vert is the baby of the current top 10. He’s a lad of 27.
Average age of these artists: 32.8 Not only is the average more than six years higher, but every artist in the current top 10 is older than the average artist in this 1978 top 10.

Last edited 1 year ago by Zeusaphone
Virgindog
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February 9, 2023 2:00 pm
Reply to  Zeusaphone

I wouldn’t have guessed that at all. Nice research!

dutchg8r
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February 9, 2023 5:26 pm
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Agreed – that’s some awesome stat research zeusaphone!! I would have never guessed the average age of the current Top 10 is so high. Wonder if we should take any meaning from that? Even in this more accessible YouTube age, and reality shows, etc, it seems almost harder for folks to stand out and really break big than pre digital age.

Zeusaphone
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February 9, 2023 6:08 pm
Reply to  dutchg8r

We’d need far more data points to see if it’s a trend or not. My guess is the average probably stays between 25 and 35. We’re not that far removed from The Kid Laroi and Olivia Rodrigo breaking through as teens. Lil Nas X is only 23 now. Pick a different week and you get a very different result. I was just surprised by irishbeartx remarking how adult this 70’s chart seemed when the current charts strike me as far more mature sounding.

I suspect it may be partly projection. The 70’s artists that are still around are old so it’s easy to think of them as always having been old. Plus adults seem older when you’re younger. 30 is impossibly old when you’re 17, not so much when you’re 45.

mt58
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February 9, 2023 6:33 pm
Reply to  Zeusaphone

@Zeusaphone – Literally a dozen surprises in here. Great analysis and report!

dutchg8r
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February 9, 2023 5:18 pm

I feel like half of these songs were just covered in that Paramount+ documentary ozmoe was telling us about the other week! Modern Day Dan Hill is unrecognizable, but he tells the story behind Sometimes When We Touch rather amusingly yet sincerely.

I was all of 4 YO in 1978. And even I understood how huge Saturday Night Fever was in pop culture. I probably saw it in the theater too, since it was cheaper for mom to buy a ticket for me than pay a babysitter, but I don’t know for sure. Probably overdue to watch it again in its entirety.

Ozmoe
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February 9, 2023 7:11 pm

As dutchg8r noted, this entry does remind me a lot of that documentary I wrote about recently, but a few other things stand out to me here. First, Santa Esmeralda’s Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood is one of my favorite songs that should’ve made the top 10, an absolute killer from the opening echoing claps to the furious horn section and beyond. Second, Desiree has held up better than I expected among Neil Diamond songs of the 1970s. Third, I’d rank Baby Come Back and We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions much higher.

And fourth and final, what the heck happened when Barry and Andy Gibb co-wrote (Love Is) Thicker Than Water and just decided to end the song with Andy singing “La, la, lie dee dah” or whatever it was for nearly a minute? It’s like they just gave up with a closer on it. It was the weakest hit involving the Gibbs that year by far, yet they were popular enough that it still made Number One. Go figure.

cappiethedog
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February 9, 2023 11:30 pm
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“Time is Time” sounds like the bigger hit. “Love is Thicker Than Water”, I don’t quite have the words, but it almost sounds prog. It’s a testament to how popular Andy Gibb was. Can you karaoke “Love is Thicker Than Water”?

Don’t get me wrong. It’s my favorite Andy Gibb song because it sounds experimental compared to his other chart-toppers.

cappiethedog
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February 9, 2023 11:07 pm

I was introduced to “Short People” on a Dr. Demento compilation. Maybe Demento watched a lot of Fantasy Island. Maybe that’s why he took the song so literally.

LinkCrawford
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February 10, 2023 12:32 pm

Irish, it’s not nice to be mean to Dan Hill. He may break you and drag you to your knees.

I remember in The Indianapolis News at the end of 78, the local readers poll had “Short People” as the most hated song of the year. Did people not get the joke? As a 5’3″ guy (on a good day), I think the song is hilarious.

I really like “You’re in my Heart” (The Final Acclaim)”. I’d put it in my top five favorites by Rod. He comes across less skanky and braggadocious.

Fun review, even if I don’t always agree.

washingtonknight
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February 20, 2023 12:40 am

I Go Crazy will always be one of my favorite ballads. When I was younger, I pondered doing a remake a la “Last Dance” – where it starts off slow and then takes off… Maybe I’ll take a look at it going forward – it might be fun.

washingtonknight
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February 20, 2023 12:42 am

I always liked “I Go Crazy” and sang it recently at karaoke.
I was a BIG fan of CHIC back in the day and I saw them live before “Le Freak” hit Number One.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

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