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About This Time 50 Years Ago… It’s The Hits Of September-ish 1974!

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The Hottest Hit In The World:

“Kung Fu Fighting” by Carl Douglas

It didn’t take long, did it?

Barely had disco emerged from the gay discotheques and begun its takeover of the pop charts, than it began to attract undesired attention. Than it became the target of novelty song writers.

Not that Carl Douglas necessarily thought of himself as a novelty song writer when he came up with “Kung Fu Fighting.” Nonetheless, “Kung Fu Fighting” signifies the start of a slippery slope.

Once “Kung Fu Fighting” became the Hottest Hit In The World, about 50 Years Ago today, the rise of “Disco Duck” was only a matter of time.

Carl definitely considered himself a party man, however. Carl had been making party music for close to a decade. Since his first record, “Crazy Feeling” by Carl Douglas And The Big Stampede, an absolute flop. Much better was the wah-wah chicken-scratch funk of “Somebody Stop This Madness” (anyone sense a theme developing here?) from the soundtrack to spy-thriller Embassy, starring Richard Roundtree – aka John Shaft – as a CIA agent. But neither the jam nor the movie set the world on fire.

“Somebody Stop This Madness” is quite fab though, and the reason for “Somebody Stop This Madness” being so fab is that it was produced by Biddu Appaiah from Bangalore.

Biddu would later become hugely influential in the development of disco – at least as it developed on the European side of the pond – and Indipop – not to be mistaken for indie-pop – but he had already experienced chart success, having produced a Number One record… in Japan!

Written by the Bee Gees, and performed by The Tigers, a Japanese band that spoke no English and had to learn the song phonetically, “Smile For Me” sounds nothing like “Kung Fu Fighting.”

Following “Somebody Stop This Madness”, Biddu nudged his sound towards a more luxurious Barry White/Philly Soul vibe, all luscious strings and funky big beats, with Carl in the role of an entirely adequate soul singer.

Case in point: “I Want To Give You My Everything” – even the title sounds like a Barry White song – the B-side to “Kung-Fu Fighting.” “I Want To Give You My Everything” was initially supposed to be the A-side before the label pointed out that “Kung-Fu Fighting” was far more fun.

To write such a fun song, Carl Douglas needed to have a life changing experience.

Carl needed to walk out of a club one night when he saw “two boys and they were sort of kickin’ at each other.”

Were they funky Chinamen from funky Chinatown? Outside of the song itself, I can’t find any suggestion from Carl that they were. Or that they weren’t. I’m going with “weren’t.” He probably would have said if they were.

To continue the story: Carl turned to his friends and he said “‘you know, everybody’s kung-fu fighting.’ I think I’d like to write a song about that.

“To explain, very simply, to the kids, about kung-fu, and so they could also dance to it.”

And dance to it, the kids did. Finally, Carl Douglas was kung fu kickin’ his way up the charts.

First it soared up the UK charts. Then it became an even bigger hit across Europe. This was no surprise. European record buyers have never been able to get enough of silly little catchy disco numbers, the sillier the better.

And then, finally, the U.S., who are usually immune to this sort of thing.

But then again, songs about kung-fu were quite hot at the time. Curtis Mayfield had just dropped a single called “Kung Fu” and it became his biggest chart hit since “Superfly,” despite its squelchy groove and aimless mystical melody sounding nothing like a hit single.

“Kung Fu Fighting” on the other hand, sounds exactly like a hit single. It has, for example, an incessantly catchy riff. A riff that listeners were already intimately familiar with. A riff that was so much a part of the pop culture biosphere that it feels less like a snippet of music and more like a sound effect. It even has its own name: The Oriental Riff.

It’s the riff from The Vapors’ “Turning Japanese.”

It’s the riff from David Bowie’s “China Girl”, where its use has always seemed an odd fit since David spends most of the song anguishing over his white privilege.

It’s the riff from that scene in “The Aristocats” when a character called Shun Gon plays it on a piano with chopsticks as part of a song that also includes lyrics such as “Shanghai, Hong Kong, egg foo young, fortune cookie always wrong.”

More broadly, The Oriental Riff was used on television, movies, vaudeville stages, whenever someone of Asian appearance appeared. At least on those occasions when the producers couldn’t get their hands on a gong.

Was there ever even the remotest possibility that “Kung Fu Fighting” would use anything else? Or that “Kung Fu Fighting” itself would not end up being used for exactly the same purposes?

There is so much of The Oriental Riff in “Kung Fu Fighting” that some think that “Kung Fu Fighting” is where the riff originated.

It might certainly be the single best-known example of The Oriental Riff, but it’s not the first.

The first known use of The Oriental Riff is from an 1840s stage show production of Alladdin. Many have noted that Alladdinis not typically associated with the Eastern-end of Asia. But it should be.

Because the show was called The Grand Chinese Spectacle of Aladdin or, The Wonderful Lamp, and they called it that because Aladdin was Chinese.

No, really – he was. Disney was lying to you.

Alladdin was a story included as part of One Thousand And One Nights, an Arabic collection of short stories contained inside a larger, umbrella story.

The plot of One Thousand And One Nights is a weird and disturbing one. A Persian king finds out that his wife has been cheating on him, so he has her killed. Heartbroken, and not wanting to have his heart broken again, but still wanting to have sex, he comes up with the solution of marrying a fresh virgin every night and then having her executed the next morning. This is not a popular policy amongst his subjects, but what can they do?

Nothing! Not until one girl comes up with a plan to tell the King a story but refusing to reveal the ending until the following night, so that the King has to keep her alive in order to hear it. And thus this clever girl saves the virgins of the kingdom, by telling the King story after story after story, always finishing the night with a cliffhanger.

One of those stories is Aladdin. Except it’s not.

Aladdin is not in the original Arabic version of One Thousand And One Nights but was added to the French translation that became a publishing sensation across Europe in the 1700s.

Aladdin – the story – is set in China. Aladdin, the character, is a young scallywag, whose nemesis is a sorcerer from Morocco who pretends to be his uncle, and who talks Aladdin into fetching him the genie’s lamp from a cave. At no point in the story does Aladdin find it odd that his uncle is Moroccan, whereas Aladdin, once again, is Chinese.

Anyway, back to “Kung Fu Fighting.”

For the first couple of weeks after it was released into the “Kung Fu Fighting” performed as well as every previous Carl Douglas record.

That is, not at all. So Carl decided to go on holiday, back to Jamaica, where he was born. And that’s when disco DJs started to play it, and the song started to explode. For weeks, the record company tried to contact him, to summon him home to do some promotion, as he lounged about on a Jamaican beach, blissfully unaware that he now had a huge hit on his hands.

It’s lucky for Carl that he had that holiday, because once he returned, those promotional commitments were non-stop.

Carl suddenly found himself travelling around the world in Oriental outfits, having his moustache remodeled to look more Chinese…

And he seemed to enjoy every single minute of it. It was as though he felt that singing about kung-fu was what he was born to do.

Carl had a huge worldwide hit now, but not everybody was a fan…

Over in Seattle, an organisation called Asians For A Fair Media objected to the “funky Chinamen” lyric, noting that the dictionary “defines Chinaman as a contemptuous or patronizing term.” They tried to get Seattle radio stations to stop playing it. The newspapers who reported on this campaign were not exactly sympathetic, claiming that Carl was “getting the old one-two from the Chinese-American community.”

A month or two later the Asian Student Union-Asian Political Committee joined the campaign, objecting “to the portrayal of our communities as places where gangs of Chinese roam around the streets fighting.”

One radio station had a curious response: “I would hate to think we were being forced to remove the record, simply because almost every record we play discriminates against somebody.”

They also suggested that most Americans hadn’t realized that “Chinaman” was offensive before. So really, “Kung Fu Fighting” was instrumental in raising awareness of the issue. “Kung Fu Fighting” was making a difference!

Carl was never able to capture the magic of “Kung Fu Fighting” – such as it was – again, although oh-how-he-tried. And he tried in the most shameless way imaginable. It’s almost admirable how shameless his milking of his “Kung Fu Fighting” fame was, for with his follow-up single he attempted to start… a new dance craze!

It was “Do The Kung Fu”, which managed to sound just like “Kung-Fu Fighting” but without any of the fun parts. (“Do The Kung Fu” is a 2.)

As for Biddu, he was just getting started. He produced the adorably cheesy UK Number One “I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance)” by Tina Charles (it’s an 8.)

But “Kung Fu Fighting” and “I Love To Love” was just a warm up for his production work with Nazia Hassan.

If you don’t know who Nazia Hassan is, then you are clearly not from the Indian sub-continent, because Nazia Hassan was the Queen Of South Asian Pop! Here’s her big hit “Disco Deewane.” Wikipedia tells me this was the first Indian/Pakastani pop hit to not come from a Bollywood soundtrack, and thus the birth of IndiPop.

“Kung-Fu Fighting” – inspired by Chinese popular culture, using an American-composed riff meant to sound like Chinese music for a production of a story made famous by its association with Middle Eastern literature, performed by a Jamaican-born mechanical engineer, produced by an Indian orchestra leader, dominating the dancefloors of Europe and America, fueling the rise of Indian-pop music and an Asian-American political awakening – was truly a global smash hit!

I should like “Kung-Fu Fighting” more than I do.

Carl is having some seriously goofy fun on the song. He sounds truly excited, truly committed to the bit.

There are so many novelty songs where you get the feeling the artist has a gun pointed at their head. It is obvious that Carl does not have a gun pointed at his head. And even if he did, he’d just karate chop it away.

The reason Carl is having so much fun of course is that he thought “Kung Fu Fighting” was just the B-side, something that nobody would listen to, so he could just mess around and have fun with it. I think that’s the problem. “Kung-Fu Fighting” has “B-side-ten-minutes-in-the-making” written all over it. It’s a mess of a song. It’s a story song with no real plot line. A joke with no punch line. It should have remained a B-side.

“Kung Fu Fighting” is a 5.


Meanwhile, in Rock Land:

“Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Lynyrd Skynyrd were having a feud with Neil Young.

Neil had written “Southern Man” four years earlier. It’s one of many, many, many highlights on his 1970 album After The Gold Rush. By the standards of After The Gold Rush, Southern Man is Neil sounding pissed off. Even Neil’s guitar sounds pissed off as he croaks about fast burning crosses, tall white mansions and little shacks, screaming, and bullwhips cracking, and very possibly a Black man being lynched from a tree at the end.

It’s basically “Strange Fruit” but by a shaggy, white Canadian (it’s a 10)

Ronnie Van Zant thought that Neil Young was being a tad unfair. Ronnie Van Zant didn’t think that Neil Young understood what being a “Southern Man” – or at least a white Southern man anyway – was all about. Neil Young didn’t understand “The South.”

It’s uncertain whether Ronnie understood “The South” either, since he was from Florida. Is Florida the South? I know it is south? It’s more south than The South? But is it The South?

Ronnie, and the rest of Skynyrd, clearly identified as being Southerners.

Why else would they have used the Confederate Flag as their backdrop? And on the artwork for “Sweet Home Alabama”?

So Neil Young’s attitude to The South got them feeling all defensive.

Here’s Ronnie in 1974:
“The South’s different from other places… whatever The South might have been like, it isn’t necessarily that today. There’s a new feeling, a free spirit down here now. All that trouble’s behind us now. It’s just blue skies and friendly people on the good earth. The bare grey bones are beneath it. Buried. Leave them there.”

It wasn’t just the Confederate Flag, either. Skynyrd even started their shows by walking on stage to a tape of “Dixie.” They were serious about this stuff.

The Confederate Flag and “Dixie” were the two main components of their Second Helping album marketing campaign. “Sweet Home Alabama” was their campaign speech.

Okay, so there is a lot going on in this song. Far more political references than one usually gets in a boozed-up party song. Not many party songs feature extended musings about George Wallace. Not many party songs contain glowing endorsements of any politician.

Endorsing a politician with your Southern-fried-boogie-rock is one of the least rock’n’roll things I can imagine.

Whenever “Sweet Home Alabama” would get played at college parties in my youth, and everybody would be singing along to it, I had no idea of the history, or whatever it meant, but whenever they reached the parts about the Governor and about Watergate, I couldn’t help but feel that it suddenly got a whole less rock’n’roll.

The fact that Lynyrd Skynyrd got away with it suggests that supporting the Governor must’ve been considered a rebel stance, otherwise it simply doesn’t make any sense. And it turns out that supporting the Governor was considered a rebel stance, in the same way as the Confederate Flag was considered the rebel flag; because no Southerner is going to let some uppity Yankee tell them what to do!

Now, naturally: I’m Australian.

So I consequently possess limited knowledge of American political figures that have not resided in the White House. I am probably not the best person to write a post featuring extended musings about George Wallace.

But as that has never stopped me before, let’s do this, and… oh good God…

George Wallace was the Governor Of Alabama. He was also a Democrat, a fact that, as the years pass, seems weirder and weirder and weirder. Does anybody know if there is a book that explains how, between Lincoln and, let’s say, Reagan, the Democrats and Republicans essentially switched sides? Because I would read that book.

George was originally said to be quite liberal regarding racial issues, although I must confess, my primary source for that – and for much of what I’m about to write – comes from a song by the Drive-By Truckers: “The Three Great Alabama Icons.”

Anyway, George was originally said to be quite liberal regarding race. But there were no votes in that, largely because so very few Black Alabamans were permitted to vote. Wallace apologists will argue that he only spouted racist nonsense to get elected, so that he could build much needed roads and schools.

There were no votes in talking about roads and schools. Lynyrd Skynyrd would understand. Nobody really cared about their brand of Southern boogie-rock either, until they started draping their sets with the Confederate Flag.

After winning the next election, in 1962, George allowed Ku Klux Klan leader, Asa Earl Carter, to contribute a line to his victory speech: “Segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.”

This made George so popular in Alabama that, in 1966, when he couldn’t run for a second term as per the Alabaman constitution, his wife Lurleen ran for Governor instead. And won in a landslide.

Lurleen had a great time being Governor, but she sadly died of cancer two years into her term.

Most folk outside of Alabama probably first heard of George in 1963, when he tried to stop two Black students – Vivian Malone and James Hood – from entering and registering at The University of Alabama by standing in the doorway. President Kennedy had to send in the National Guard to remove him.

It turns out that having the National Guard come to remove you from a doorway whilst the nation’s media films it, is a great way to raise your political profile, so for his next trick George decided to run for President.

He tried quite a number of times, beginning in 1964, when he won precisely zero states in the Democratic Primaries, although, to be fair, they did not hold a single primary in “The South”, unless you count Florida.

And once again:  Do we count Florida?

Then George founded the American Independent Party in 1968. He campaigned heavily on a hippie-bashing platform, and won Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Georgia. And also Alabama, but I feel that goes without saying.

Fun Fact: for a little while there, George was considering Colonel Sanders as his running mate, before changing his mind and going with a General, a decision that presumedly cost him Kentucky.

George tried to run for President again in 1972, this time as a Democrat. He did quite a bit better this time, winning seven states in the primaries.

He may have won more if he hadn’t been shot by Arthur Bremer, previously a busboy before he got fired because the customers thought he was crazy. Very perceptive of them.

Arthur initially wanted to shoot Nixon, but he couldn’t get close enough, not even when wearing a “Vote Republican” badge. George Wallace was his second choice. A very distant second choice. Arthur wanted his shooting to interrupt regularly scheduled programming across the globe: “I won’t even rate a TV interruption in Russia or/Europe when the news breaks” he sighed as he wrote in his diary “they never heard of Wallace.” It did make the front page of “The Age” in Melbourne though, so that’s something.

George Wallace became paralyzed from the waist down and he never walked again.

For all these reasons George Wallace became the man most Yankees thought of when they thought of everything that was wrong with The South. Which is why Governor George is the hero of “Sweet Home Alabama”. Yankees looked down on George, and Ronnie, as a fellow Southerner, took it personally.

Then there’s Watergate. Why bring up Watergate? Sure, it was the biggest political news story of 1974 and all that, but it feels very weirdly off topic.

One popular theory is that Ronnie is telling Yankees that one should not be held accountable for the actions of their governing officials. Don’t blame us for Wallace, and we won’t blame you for Nixon. Maybe. And y’know… I guess he has a point. But it’s not a great one.

I mean, voters didn’t know that Tricky Dicky was bugging Democrat headquarters when they voted for him, whereas they definitely knew Wallace’s views on race. And it’s not as though the very same people who didn’t like Nixon also didn’t like Wallace.

Also, if this verse is still being directed towards Neil Young, he was Canadian, and thus couldn’t have voted for Nixon even if he had wanted to! Which he wouldn’t have!!

The extent to which Ronnie wrote “Sweet Home Alabama” in support of George Wallace remains a matter of much debate amongst the Lynyrdsphere, not helped by the other members taking different positions. A lot of the debate comes down to just who is it that is doing the “boo”ing, as in “in Birmingham they love the Governor… boo, boo, boo.” Is Lynyrd Skynyrd boo-ing the Governor? Is Lynyrd Skynyrd boo-ing Birmingham? Is it supposed to represent Northern Yankee liberals boo-ing Birmingham for not boo-ing the Governor? Is it Lynyrd Skynyrd boo-boo-ing back at Northern Yankee liberals?

We may never know the answer the any of these questions because Ronnie Van Zant died in a plane crash in 1977, his precise political affiliations dying with him.

Legend, or at least the Drive-By Truckers, has it that Neil Young was an honorary pallbearer at Ronnie Van Zant’s funeral, and that Ronnie was buried wearing a Neil Young t-shirt, such is the duality of the Southern thing.

“Sweet Home Alabama” is a 9. Which I guess means: that Neil wins!


Meanwhile, in Country Land:

“I Will Always Love You” by Dolly Parton

Dolly Parton says that she wrote “I Will Always Love You” and “Jolene” on the same day! I mean seriously, what a day! She must’ve poured herself several cups of ambition that day!

But “Jolene” was released in 1973, so it’s “I Will Always Love You” that we are talking about today (“Jolene” is a 10.)

Oddly, for a song with the word “love” in the title, “I Will Always Love You” is not a love song. At least, not in the romantic sense. It was written for the Nudie suit wearing Porter Wagoner, who Dolly had spent the last seven years singing duets with on “The Porter Wagoner Show,” seven years of being introduced as “this pretty little lady”, or “prettiest little blonde”, or a variation thereof, on every single one of those shows.

Also, seven years of arguing.

Dolly: “We both believed that we knew what was best for us. Well, he believed he knew what was best for me, too, and I believed that I knew more what was best for me at that time.” Can’t argue with that logic.

Dolly wrote “I Will Always Love You” to Porter as a way of saying goodbye. If the legend about her writing it straight after “Jolene” is true, then I like to think Dolly wrote “Jolene”, sung it to herself, realized that she had just written the most popular country-karaoke song of all time (karaoke having been invented three years earlier) and thought “don’t need you anymore, Porter; it’s time to unhitch the Wagoner.”

“If I… should stay… I would only… be in… your waaaaay” Dolly wrote, which was incredibly charitable of her, since it should have been obvious to everyone that it was the other way around and that Porter was in Dolly’s way.

I mean, Dolly had just written “Jolene”!

Dolly continues to be charitable with “we both know… I’m not what… you neeeed.”

But that’s obviously not true either, because they kept on recording albums together for years. Albums that were simultaneously the most successful of Porters’ – at the time, he’d had some bigger hits in the 60s – and the least successful of Dolly’s.

So Dolly popped round to see Porter the next morning. She told him she wanted to sing him a song. And so she sung it. And he started crying. And then he said: “’That’s the prettiest song I ever heard. And you can go.”

“Providing I get to produce that record.”

Even to the last, Porter was telling Dolly what to do.

Porter: “You sing it just like you sorta mean it.”
Dolly: “Well I did sorta mean it.”

But did she really mean it?

Dolly particularly sounds as though she means it on the studio recording. Probably because the final verse is a spoken monologue, which she hams up so much that it sounds as though she’s about to cry herself. It’s a bit of a relief though that Whitney didn’t take that route in 1992.

Although “I Will Always Love You” is not a break-up song as typically understood by that term, it makes such a good break-up song that Elvis sang it to Priscilla on the day of their divorce.

He also wanted to record the song, and Dolly was pretty excited about that.

Until she learned that when Elvis recorded a song, he – or Colonel Tom Parker – demanded a considerable chunk of the publishing rights.

Dolly couldn’t stand for that. Colonel Tom Parker wanted to use her mind, and never give her credit. It was enough to drive Dolly crazy if she let it. Dolly didn’t want to spend her life putting money in Colonel Tom Parker’s pocket.

She had an empire to build. And, in 1986, a goldrush themed amusement park to buy and turn into Dollywood.

An amusement park just around the mountain from the hillbilly settlement where Dolly was born and grew up. If Dolly had signed the publishing rights off to Elvis, she wouldn’t have made a zillion dollars when Whitney covered it two decades later. If Dolly had let Elvis record it, then maybe she wouldn’t have been able to afford the Tennessee Tornado, a ride that Dolly described as “this ride has big features and curves, just like me!”

“I Will Always Love You” is an 8.


Meanwhile, in Disco Land:

“When Will I See You Again” by The Three Degrees

Disco wasn’t just novelty songs. Disco – or Philly Soul, subtly sliding into disco – also gave us one of the most sultry, seductive and sophisticated slices of soul imaginable.

The Three Degrees had, you might remember, provided the vocals for “T.S.O.P (The Sound Of Philadelphia)” aka “The Soul Train Theme.”

What you may not remember however – not unless you lived in Europe in the 70s – is that they had a huge hit there with “Dirty Ol’ Man”, the tale of an old married man, with grabby hands, trying to seduce The Three Degrees, despite the girls being “not old enough”. It’s exactly the kind of song you would expect to be big in Europe in the 1970s.

Just to be clear, The Three Degrees were old enough. The Three Degrees had been around for a while. Prior to the Soul Train theme, The Three Degrees had spent a decade on the nightclub circuit. When I say nightclub in this context, I don’t mean discos. I mean, seated audiences in tuxedoes and cocktail dresses, hobnobbing with the Mob, lounge singers and comedians saying “take my wife… please.”

I mean, ‘places for people with a lot of money.’

Places like the Copacabana – the hottest spot north of Havana apparently – where The Three Degrees sometimes performed.

The records of Philadelphia International had always sounded like a lot of money so The Three Degrees were a perfect fit. The Three Degrees sounded how they dressed, and how they dressed was split cocktail dresses with more sparkles than a mirror ball.

Some have likened “When Will I See You Again” to a 70s “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow.” But a lot had changed in the decade and a half since “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” had been a hit.

Nobody was going to believe that The Three Degrees were virgins, not even after singing “Dirty Ol’ Man.” It’s difficult to tell whether “When Will I See You Again” is an awkward-conversation-at-the -end-of-a-date song, or an awkward-conversation-the-morning-after song. But it’s almost certainly a first date song. That’s why it sounds as though it’s dressed to impress.

But hey, if your date went as smoothly as The Three Degrees sound, you can be pretty sure there’s going to be another one.

“When Will I See You Again” is a 9.


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DJ Professor Dan

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cstolliver
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cstolliver
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September 16, 2024 5:02 am

Wow — what a wide world this week! Way to go, DJPD! I will take issue with 2 points, while agreeing with much of what you’ve written:

1) Florida *definitely* is The South. (Care to argue, ?)

And

2) “Kung Fu Fighting” is a hot mess of a 10.

Zeusaphone
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September 16, 2024 10:05 am
Reply to  cstolliver

Most of Florida is The South. When you get down to Miami and Dade County, it’s not so much.

dutchg8r
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September 16, 2024 3:30 pm
Reply to  Zeusaphone

I agree. Granted, Florida is really at least 4 different states and identities (example, the Panhandle of the state absolutely positively wants no association with Miami-Dade and Broward Counties at all)

But I’d say everything north of Tampa and Orlando is 100% The South. Southern accents are quite prevalent around Gainesville, that’s my basis for defining The South. It’s hard to consider Orlando ‘The South’ when it is home to more Puerto Ricans than are actually on the island of Puerto Rico anymore!!

mt58
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September 16, 2024 7:55 am

I said it five(!) years ago, and I’ll say it again:
——————-
5y ago
The Number Ones Superior Court
06-17-2019, Case # 346

The Honorable Judge Tom Breihan presiding
)
)
)

IN RE: “Kung Fu Fighting”
DEFENDANT: Carlton George ”Carl” Douglas
CHARGED WITH: Creating and performing a novelty record
PLEA: Not Guilty

For the defense: mt58, CUPD (Clearly Unqualified Public Defender)

Ladies and gentlemen of the comment section, I implore you: My client is innocent.

When one goes about creating a so-called “novelty record”, there are certain criteria:

– It should be performed “tongue-in-cheek.”
– It should be derivative, and, however feeble the attempt, try to go for the “big joke” at the end.
– And, when executed poorly: the more often you listen to it, the more exhausting it is to hear.

On each count: Mr. Douglas has committed none of the above offenses.

– He is completely serious as he chronicles the estimable talents of a roving band of expert martial artists. He marvels at their proficiency with great admiration and respect. There isn’t a bit of disingenuousness to be heard during its entire 3 minutes and 4 seconds.

– This is neither a Dickie Goodman drop-in record, nor the felony-assault as committed in recent Case #282, by Mr. Chuck Berry. “Kung Fu Fighting” is a completely original pop record. Nothing like it before, nothing like it since. It’s not aiming for a cheap yuk. In fact, while you may find yourself grinning… you’re not laughing. Joyous and celebratory? Yes. Funny? No.

– It has a great melody, slick musicianship, and solid production and arrangement. I realize that Mr. Stevens is not on trial here today, but I’d submit that no one could say the same for “The Streak.” KFF is not an overlong trek to a tired and possibly offensive punchline, such as in “My Girl Bill,” where, even you thought it was clever the first time, you are about ready to jump out of a window if you somehow make it to a fourth listen.

Is it high art? Of course not. Is it really anything more than a fun, little one-hit-wonder? Probably not. Is it sort of a strange topic to be singing about? Absolutely.

But: it is a great mile-marker for a very popular fad that fascinated and interested people of the day. If you remember radio from the mid-70s you remember this record, and the little eye-roll and smile that it may have put on your face. Which alone, would make a nice reason for an acquittal.

The defense rests.

mt58
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September 16, 2024 8:07 am

No, that would be the Supreme Court.

Phylum of Alexandria
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September 16, 2024 9:50 am
Reply to  mt58

“Tee hee!” — Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr., probably

Phylum of Alexandria
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September 16, 2024 9:09 am

I had just been wondering about the source of the “Oriental” riff, as well as the stock Arabic music that’s used for snake charmers in cartoons (and in ABC’s “Iesha”). Apparently that’s just called the “Arabian” riff.

Thanks for enlightening me about a decidedly unenlightened phenomenon.

Speaking of which: Lynyrd Skynyrd. I think the most generous interpretation is that they were going for subtlety on a contentious political issue, and just executed poorly. And that’s the best possible explanation.

Just a few months after “Sweet Home Alabama” was released, a much more sophisticated pop take on Birmingham and southern politics in general was dropped by Randy Newman. Good Old Boys features some fierce attacks on Southern racism, while saving some venom for Northern false piety (the last verse of “Rednecks” is devastating), and also maintaining the humanity of its targets. Absolutely brilliant songwriting.

A Western man can do it anytime.

Zeusaphone
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Zeusaphone
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September 16, 2024 10:01 am

Tina Charles was the lead singer of a band named 5000 Volts. When she went solo, she assembled a backing band that included Geoff Downes and Trevor Horn. Downes and Horn would later go on to success as The Buggles.

mt58
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mt58
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September 16, 2024 10:15 am
Reply to  Zeusaphone

Today I learned that somebody else remembers 5000 Volts.

Obligatory K-Tel photo:

5000V
Virgindog
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Virgindog
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September 16, 2024 10:10 am

“Kung Fu Fighting” is a 10.

The Florida panhandle is the South. The rest of the state is Cuba, New York, Michigan or tourists. “Sweet Home Alabama” is a 7, but only for the guitars. Otherwise, it’s a 3.

“I Will Always Love You” is an 8. Dolly is a 10.

And I absolutely agree that “When Will I See You Again” is a 9.

mt58
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mt58
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September 16, 2024 10:12 am
Reply to  Virgindog

Please re-tell your KFF cover experience…

Virgindog
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Virgindog
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September 16, 2024 12:19 pm
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I’ve never played KFF so maybe you’re confusing me with some other talented, debonair, and surprisingly handsome bass player. There’s a lot of us around.

mt58
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mt58
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September 16, 2024 12:35 pm
Reply to  Virgindog

OK, I had some more coffee and I think I remember the comment thread.

We were all opining that the secret to doing a good cover of KFF would be playing it with 100% sincerity. No exaggerated martial arts schtick, and playing every note with funky gravitas, like it was Ain’t Mountain High Enough, or something just as epic.

I’ve never seen anyone do this, but myself? I’d be all in, just to see the crowd’s initially perplexed – and eventually joyous faces.

Virgindog
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Virgindog
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September 16, 2024 12:42 pm
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I have on a list of songs to do with a band that never came together, along with “Groove Is In The Heart,” “Funkytown,” and more. My idea was to play them absolutely straight. If done well, booties would move.

lovethisconcept
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September 16, 2024 3:09 pm
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A very dear friend of mine always introduced herself as being “from the part of Florida that is the South.” I think that Tom Petty was from the same area, as he remained Southern to his toes even after many, many years in California. He did eventually reject the Confederate flag and apologized for ever using it as a background.

LinkCrawford
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LinkCrawford
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September 16, 2024 11:29 am

I have always been happy with how generally positive that the TNOCS community over at the mothership was to “When Will I See You Again”. I just love that song. It always pulls me back to being a single-digit aged kid hearing music over the kitchen counter transistor radio. Those are warm-fuzzy feelings.

Pauly Steyreen
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September 16, 2024 12:30 pm

If you really care to understand it (and I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t), Google the word “Dixiecrats” to understand why an unrepentant racist like George Wallace was a Democrat. In the 50’s and 60’s, the Democratic party was effectively two parties that occasionally overlapped. Barry Goldwater started, then Richard Nixon finally manifested the effort to convince tranches of racist Southerners that they were actually Republicans, not Democrats. And the “solid South” remained solid, but solidly R instead of solidly D.

JJ Live At Leeds
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September 16, 2024 2:33 pm

Music, history, politics; its a smorgasbord of learning. Not that the songs are bad but the origins of Aladdin and the George Wallace story are the bits that grabbed me most.

Aladdin is a staple of the British pantomime tradition. Closer to the original than the Disney version. The Chinese elements are prominent but with a range of randomly vague middle / far eastern influences. All wrapped together in a manner that veers from mildly to wildly problematic. Still, it’s just a bit of good clean family fun at Christmas. Oh no it isn’t. Oh yes it is. That’s one for the panto afficianados.

As a Brit I’m also contractually obliged to point out that in the 70s the monarch formerly known as Prince Charles named The Three Degrees as his favourite music act. He was so enamoured of them they attended his and Di’s wedding reception.

mt58
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mt58
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September 16, 2024 2:54 pm

TMFKAPC. I like it.

Purple reign, purple reign…

TMFKAPC
blu_cheez
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blu_cheez
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September 16, 2024 4:47 pm

Another gem of an article – thank you!!

Also: “When Will I See You Again” rules.

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