What drives people to write to celebrities? Especially when you’re a kid?
Why do we think we have this connection to a complete stranger that we feel compelled to write them a letter, when we can’t even be bothered to write a book report on The Lorax in first grade? Maybe it all stems from Santa. We’re encouraged to tell this strange entity we want Star Wars toys for Christmas when we’re younglings, and if we were fortunate, Star Wars toys would just appear one morning. In retrospect it’s probably terribly misleading to set kids off on that path from such an early age!
Being the stubborn snot I was as a kid, I always thought that was silly to write in to a ’celebrity.’ “I will never be that person,” I’d sniff in my elitist 11 year old way. “That’s so stupid.” For whatever reason the whole concept seemed too fake to me. “Like the person is ever going to read it, puh-leeze.”
But then in college the impossible happened. I felt compelled to write to someone where I could tell they were going through a difficult time in their life. This person would have no idea who I was, might never read my letter, yet for some bizarre reason, I felt I had to offer some support. And I’ve never done it since.
This starts with BabyDutch back in the day, starting to discover the awesomeness that is sports.
Saturday afternoon’s ‘Wide World of Sports,’ with the poor ski jump dude wiping out and exemplifying “The Agony of Defeat,” was Must See TV from as early as I can remember. Phillies baseball ruled our household since mom was a lifelong fan, and my dad, being from a large family in Western PA, had an awful lot of relatives who were Steelers fans, so despite living in the Philly market, I became a Steelers fan from watching my relatives go bonkers watching games growing up.
I started really getting in to football around age 10, and as I tell people who may scoff at me being some bandwagon fan, I tell them I didn’t really get in to them until the Mark Malone at QB era. Trust me, that was NOT the 70s Super Bowl teams! By the time I was in high school, sports became much more interesting to me when I decided to follow one particular guy in the sport, and root for him. (Good Lord, did I love me some Stefan Edberg in those days….) And then in the late 80s, the Steelers drafted a rookie running back that caught my eye. Had no idea who he was or what he looked like, but he was a beast on the field.
No fancy spins and dodges. He just ran THROUGH people. Before the game was done, his shirt tails would be out looking like he was playing flag football.
I loved it; totally loved this boy’s style, this guy wearing #33.
Merril Hoge.
One Steelers game was actually broadcast on local Philly stations one weekend (usually I was trying to watch a Steelers game on the Lancaster NBC station which apparently had Fiona’s hamster cousin running its signal it was so weak), just thrilled to get a Steeler game in clearly for once.
At one point during the game, the cameras followed #33 to the sidelines, where he took off his helmet while talking to someone.
Oh, dear Lord – Hellooooo hottie!’ I think I managed to gasp out. And that was it. I was totally obsessed with the boy the next few seasons during his Pittsburgh tenure. Hoge is 100% the reason I bleed such diehard Black and Gold to this day.
tnocs.com contributing author dutchg8r
So the fun lasted until year 7 when he became a free agent, and subsequently signed with the Chicago Bears in 1994. Unfortunately that tenure was very short-lived, suffering 2 devastating concussions about a month apart during games. The second one caused him to go into cardiac arrest in the locker room before being transported to a nearby hospital’s Intensive Care Unit for a couple of days. Since this was pre-internet days still, I’d routinely go to the campus library and get caught up on Chicago newspapers following his ordeal, and was just gutted when he announced he had to retire for the sake of his health.
I remember seeing the picture of him at his press conference in the paper, and it was evident the guy was having great difficulty trying to understand this new reality. And without thinking, I just started writing a letter while still there in the library, letting him know how much of an impact he had on me as a Steelers fan, but he was doing the right thing for himself and his family. I recall it was a long letter, which in retrospect seems even more ridiculous, like, what all could I possibly have had to say?! Goodness knows how embarrassing it probably read, like a 20 year old has wise words of comfort to someone going through his situation…. Sheesh.
I do recall saying though that it was obvious how much he loved the game of football, and I sincerely hoped he could find a coaching position or some TV gig that would fulfill that hole as a second career. Sent it off to the Chicago Bears office, never knowing if it’d actually reach him but feeling like I’d done my small part to help him find a way forward.
So imagine my absolute shock and delight when I tuned in to an episode of NFL Gameday the following season, and Chris Berman introduced ESPN’s newest sideline reporter, Merril Hoge. Merril eventually got his own show with Ron Jaworski, and stayed with ESPN for about 20 years (until ESPN cleaned house about 5 years ago and cut virtually everybody).
Every now and then he pops up on the Steelers website with some video clips, but his primary focus remains being an advocate for understanding the severity of concussions and brain trauma in football.
By sheer coincidence, the Steelers team doctor started to study the effects of concussions on players in the early 90’s. One of the first players to have the doctor establish a baseline of study for was Hoge. So after his second hit, and knowing how serious the situation was, he went back to Pittsburgh to continue working with that team doctor during his recovery. Hoge was one of the early proponents of forcing the NFL to handle concussions seriously in the 90’s. The whole CTE issue that was first discussed 20 years ago just added to the discussion. Thankfully, it seems to be working now in the league.
Why did I feel compelled to write Hoge once he retired? What could he possibly have benefitted from some college dork, who squealed every time he touched the ball during a game like a squeaky dog toy, sending him a letter? I’ve never understood it, other than it just seemed the right thing to do, to provide some small bit of comfort to someone who was obviously hurting in more ways than one.
Do others feel a need to reach out to strangers? Celebrities, Athletes, someone shown on the news that just went through a traumatic situation? Does it all stem from Santa?! Or is it something more innately human to have a connection? Guess that’s the basic science behind Facebook and Twitter, eh?
I’d be curious to hear if others have similar stories from their past of writing to someone who really was nothing more than a stranger?
Let the author know you liked their article with a “heart” upvote!
Thank You For Your Vote!
Sorry You have Already Voted!
Views: 54
I never heard this Santa theory before, but i think you’re on to something dutchg8r.
I think the desire to help people may be innate (at least to some people). Think about it. Which people catch your attention and serve as role models when you’re a youngling? The athletic? The compassionate? The fashionable? The creative?
My theory is that you kind of gravitate towards the kind of person who resonates with you in a way that’s deeper than comprehension. Like it’s pre-wired into you from birth, just waiting for the right stimulus / conditions to bring it out (and hoping you don’t suffer enough trauma in the meantime to overwhelm it). And obviously you’re not just locked into one thing, but some temperaments are more natural and in harmonic convergence with your soul than others.
So maybe Santa has served that purpose for you and many other kids… a role model of selfless generosity. Or maybe it was a different fat man in a red suit, like Daniel Faalele or Uncle Morty. Or maybe there was no obesity or tacky clothing involved…
I guess it kinda goes along too with people who act selflessly in the middle of an extreme situation – their brain rationale says “so what if there’s a fire, go in there anyway and help people!”
My parents told us from the beginning that Santa wasn’t real. They said that a lot of children believe in Santa and they’d be disappointed when they found out the truth. Not only did my parents not want to disappoint us, they didn’t want us to think they lied to us or that we couldn’t trust them. I always appreciated that, and did the same with my son.
Having let us in on the secret, they also told us we shouldn’t be the ones to let the secret out. It was between each kid and their parents. It was another level of trust.
It also taught me that not everything you see on TV is real. I didn’t think the singers on the Ed Sullivan show wore tuxedos and sequined evening gowns when they got home. They’re just, you know, people. I never wrote to any of them because I didn’t want to bother them.
Still, I did join the Monkees Fan Club.
Now that is actually a really wise parenting choice y’all made to take that route with education re: Santa. I remember in kindergarten my friends’ dad played Santa at the school Christmas party. My folks knew I’d recognize him, so they spun it that he was a designated Santa stand in.
I somehow knew the whole thing was a sham, I mean, I’d get my gifts while we visited grandma, but SHE HAD NO CHIMNEY! (I was quite the detective at 3). But whatever, gifts appeared, I wasn’t going to question it too much, I just went along with it!
I’ve never written to anyone personally but I as kids I remember a few friends doing it. I’d say that mostly they were hoping to get something out of it, whether imagining they’d end up great friends or the recipient would send them something in return for their gushing fan letter.
Yours is different in that it came from a place of concern rather than wanting anything for yourself. I know what you mean about the embarrassment of thinking how you would have come across in the letter but it came from a good place.
I don’t know about the Santa theory though now you mention it, it does seem a plausible contributory factor. I’d have put it down to wish fulfilment / escapism that we see celebrities on TV, whether they’re in sports, singers, actors, etc and it seems like they’re doing better in life and want a piece of it or just to feel connected to them.
I wonder if these days with the preponderance of social media making it seem easier to be seen by someone you don’t know if that means conversely that writing an actual letter would have more effect and increase your chances of a response. It feels more personal and takes more effort. Depends what you write I guess, you might just seem even crazier!
Yeah, I really don’t know if it’s a good thing or bad thing random folks can (supposedly) directly interact with people of some kind of celebrity stature on social media.
“Yes Virginia, people wrote letters to others at one time. BY HAND. And it took a few days for the person to receive it. Yeah, the 90s were a crazy time….” 🙂