OK, shell we?
Just to be clear, ’shelled’ means the outer carapace is intact, while ‘unshelled’ is the opposite.
Peanuts
{Arachis hypogaea ballgameous}
Peanuts are the most solid of snack nuts. In shell, out of shell, roasted, salted, roasted and salted, honey roasted, baked, broiled, parboiled, basted in tallow, in whatever nut mix you can think of, peanuts are a staple that offer up their perfect peanut-ness time after time, shelled or unshelled.
Shelled, especially at the ballpark, where you just dump your peanut detritus under your seat but that’s okay because you paid for your ticket and can litter like the world’s worst citizen.
And then there’s the paper-thin coppery inner coat: just from the feel of them as they fall apart in your hand, they must have a half life of 500,000 years and are probably littering the caves of Lascaux. This is all without mentioning the joys of peanut butter and its perfect sandwich partner, grape jelly.
Verdict: shelled or unshelled; go nuts!
Sunflower Seeds
{Helianthus inseedius}
Another baseball staple. Not strictly a nut, of course, but they’ve got shells and a tasty nut/seed inside. There may be no finer put-in-mouth, spit-something-out (?) edible maneuver in creation.
They’re also the nut/seed equivalent of chewing tobacco. As far as etiquette and cleanliness and reaction by others are concerned:
If you’re trying to be neat about your sunny habit and spitting shells into a handy receptacle, the collection of saliva-covered detritus is every bit as off-putting as those cups full of tobacco juice. Without, of course, the specter of soft palate cancer.
The unshelled nut/seed ingestion, however, involves too much of a good thing: even eating a small handful of them is overkill, and leaves a slightly oily feel in the mouth. And taking the trouble to pop them in one at a time is an unsatisfying exercise in fingertip dexterity.
Verdict: shelled only
Pistachios
{Pistacia vera winklevossious }
I’ll put it out there right from the start: shelling and eating a pistachio is an endorphin-inducing joy. You know it’s a good time because when you run into that rare shelled pistachio that’s somehow lost its armor, there’s an immediate feeling of inarticulate, incalculable sadness.
All right. Not that dramatic. No deep well of sorrow. But at least: a decisive pang of disappointment and regret.
I can rip through a bag of shelled pistachios without thinking about it, just my fingers pulling the shell apart, after which taste buds and stomach work seamlessly together like Stan and Ollie.
When you run into a bag of unshelled pists, however, it’s the same as sunflower seeds: the height of uncouth opulence, like spraying canned whipped cream straight into your mouth.
Verdict: shelled only
Almonds
{Prunus amygdalus versitilium}
First off, almond butter is an affront to everything good and decent in this world. Few things are made to become butter:
- Milk (but not made into buttermilk),
- Peanuts
- Flies
- Scotch
Almonds themselves are wonderful. Especially unsalted, where their intense and inherent nuttiness really comes to the fore. I can easily gather a palmful of unshelled almonds and go to town. In my weaker moments, I’ll do the same to toffee-coated almonds, a sweet and flavorful guilty pleasure I can’t resist until I feel bloated and sleepy.
In fact, I propose that almonds, while perfectly fine straight up, are the most versatile of nuts. They hold up well with many added flavors. I don’t like shelling them, though, since you need a nutcracker to do it, there’s no satisfying crack, and I’m lazy.
Verdict: unshelled only
Walnuts
{Juglans regia yuletidlian}
Very similar to my preferences concerning almonds. They’re tasty without adornment, although there’s a strange dryness to the finish which sometimes approaches an unappetizing bitterness.
Also well suited to various added flavors, and you haven’t lived until you’ve tried maple walnuts. Unlike almonds, the very act of breaking open a walnut is a pleasure, even if the shards fly in fifteen different directions. You get a nice, rewarding crack in there that enhances the whole proceeding.
There’s also the holiday vibe.
Although the act of sticking a shelled walnut into one of those soldier-like nutcracker’s mouth is a little disturbing.
Verdict: either way. Although shelled during December is mete and proper.
Other nuts:
- Cashews – (tasty; never shelled one)
- Hazelnuts – (don’t like at all)
- Brazil Nuts – (ditto)
- Pecans – (peek-ins or peak-ons? The debate continues)
- Macadamias – (had too many as a kid and am now sick of them).
The upshot: Enjoy your nuts!
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All I can think of after reading this is eating with my family at the Ground Round in the Chicago suburbs in the ’70s. The chain was known for having peanut shells on the floor. Just saw on Wikipedia that only four restaurants in the chain still exist — none near Chicago.
Thanks for the nutty start to the day. A little salty and a bit sweet.
Yes! A shout out to the Ground Round! We had one in the town I initially grew up in. Loved that place and loved that you could throw the shells on the floor.
There were a few Ground Rounds in New England when I was growing up. Always a treat.
There was also a bar somewhere in my area that did that same thing (we have no Ground Rounds around here). I guess they do it so you won’t feel guilty about discarding your shells? It does give a place a comforting vibe. But what about those poor nut-allergic folks?
I remember their radio jingle: “The Ground Rooooooound, Ain’t we got fun?”
Such a nutty topic! Of the ones you mentioned, pistachios are my #1. Other nuts of note for me-
Macadamias weren’t a household nut growing up, but when I was an R.A. at university in the mid 80s, there was a guy from Hawaii on my floor that brought back Macadamias for me when he returned from being home on break. I’ve loved them since, but they got very expensive a few years ago and I haven’t had them in quite awhile. I have since learned that the guy from my dorm floor was the cousin of James Iha, guitarist for the Smashing Pumpkins.
My wife and I switched to almond milk a couple of years ago and I am totally used to it now. Some brands are less chalky than others I have learned.
Anything hazelnut is a thing with Poles, so thanks to my wife, I have had many hazelnut flavored liqueurs and candies, and of course Nutella. Not sure if I’ve ever had a hazelnut itself, but its products are delicious.
Cashews rock.
Stopped for pecans in Georgia on a recent vacation. Got lots of pecan related products. All great.
If anyone actually likes Brazil nuts, I have yet to meet them.
The Nut Job is not a bad animated film. The sequel- Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature, not so great.
My name is Bill and I like Brazil nuts. Pleased to meet you.
We have almond milk, and oat milk, too, and my Polish wife also loves all things hazelnut. She makes cookies filled with almond paste. Super good.
I ate way too many macadamias when visiting Hawaii and had to see my doctor when I got home. Turns out I’m slightly allergic. I guess it’s a good thing they’re expensive.
Well, it makes sense. I guess they’d stop growing them if someone didn’t like them.
See, I knew an article about nuts would have a musical connection! Beyond ‘Nut Rocker’ by B. Bumble and the Stingers, of course
“Pecans – (peek-ins or peak-ons? The debate continues”
I think you’ll find it’s peek-ans.
I’m the other way with pistachios when finding a shelled one in the packet; result. My frustration is reserved for finding one in its shell still totally closed off and no way in without resorting to blunt force trauma on it. Which is fine when you’re at home with an implement to hand but not so great on the move.
It’s peanuts and cashews for me. Sweet or savoury; salted, dry roasted, honey roasted, cinammon & vanilla coated, sweet chilli & lime. Yes please to them all.
Yes, the unbroken shell pistachios are God’s way of telling you that ‘no matter what, nothing will ever be perfect in this world.’
Even as a fussy kid, I really loved all of the nuts in the standard holiday bowl o’ shelled nuts. Almonds were my favorite. Dry, but a little sweet, so that was pleasing.
But lets be real…peanuts are the ultimate. A baseball game experience is just lackluster without them. Both my wife and I are happy to sit in the living room and chow down on a bag of salted, shelled peanuts. And then we find that we don’t need to make dinner, because they’re so satiating/filling. Their only downfall is that they are messy, meaning I can’t eat them while driving, unless I have a nice wife shelling them for me.
And peanut butter is one of the world’s more perfect foods. In my 50s I still happily eat PBJs regularly. Delicious on ice cream, too. Or just by the spoonful. Yum!
The lovely Ms. Virgindog made me a peanut butter pie for our anniversary yesterday. She knows me so well.