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A dance music legend borrows a Scandinavian hook. A relentlessly upbeat sibling writes the graduation speech of a generation. And a Southern firebrand screams democracy onto the dancefloor. Contributing Author DJ Professor Dan revisits December 2005 with affection, nostalgia…and just enough historical gravity to justify dancing while thinking.
Once upon a thousandth article, Tom Breihan explained his ratings; this piece accepts them politely, sharpens a pencil, and notices that “MMMBop,” “WAP,” and “My Ding-A-Ling” are now permanent roommates. Contributing Author Music Historian tallies up and crunches the numbers.
Remove the bells and lose the Santa hats:
These songs that would still be impressive, even without the aural fanfare. Holiday categorization aside, have a listen to four genuinely impressive pop achievements, that at first glance are all tinsel and lighting but might just be a little bit more.
What started as a respectful nod to a Christmas-born tuba legend somehow grew into a roaming, globe-spanning holiday ritual involving hundreds of horns, civic pride, and more breath control than most of us manage all year. Contributing Author Bill Bois traces the unlikely rise of this gloriously oversized tradition—from ice rinks to small-town churches—proving that nothing says seasonal joy quite like “Hark, The Herald Angels Sing” played at maximum booming-brass density.
Armed with graphs, long-lived hits you already know by heart, and some stubborn arithmetic, this second installment continues making the case: that the real scandal isn’t streaming payouts but how badly the conversation keeps missing the point. Contributing Author DJ Professor Dan suggests that Spotify didn’t destroy music — but the moral panic around it might be trying.
Pop spent decades coughing politely, speaking in code, and pretending it was “just a character” before finally blurting out “(Sing If You’re) Glad To Be Gay.” Contributing Author Bill Bois traces the long, strange journey from green carnations and raised eyebrows to a punk singalong that left subtlety waiting outside with its coat.
Bob Dylan grows older, louder, stranger, and—annoyingly—more interesting, refusing the easy gravitas play in favor of long songs, sharp elbows, and feral dogs. Contributing Author Stobgopper walks us from “Time Out of Mind” to “Together Through Life”, where the man doesn’t so much age as double down—with accordion, mustache, and opinions fully intact.
You can just imagine the meeting: A Canadian producer looks at the US version of K-tel’s “Music Express,” and politely and quietly built a better (and occasionally cheesier) pop time capsule. Contributing Author Chuck Small rides the rails of 1975 chart logic, regional pride, and the fine art of calling a Top 10 hit what it very clearly was not.
Contributing Author DJ Professor Dan steps away from his usual chart archaeology to take aim at the Internet’s favorite pastime: blaming Spotify for everything but the weather. It’s surgical dissection of the booming cottage industry of gloomy headlines, playlist paranoia, and contradictory claims about “passive listening”—all somehow proven by the same songs, including the ever-abused “Sound & Vision.”
Join DJPD as he checks in on “ghost artists,” the moral panic over background music, and the heroic labor of critics determined to turn algorithmic recommendations into a cultural crisis.
Contributing Author Music Historian returns with the surprisingly dramatic tale of a chart system that once tried to out-Billboard Billboard. It’s a story featuring jukebox math, disputed No. 1s, and an extremely determined crooner who broke the algorithm – before algorithms existed.
Today is gonna be the day that Contributing Author DJ Professor Dan unpacks the moment Oasis tried to manifest legend status by opening an album with “Wonderwall” before anyone knew what a “Wonderwall” was – a power move surpassed only by Tupac strolling out of jail and immediately leveling California. What follows is a guided tour through Britpop beefs, West Coast mythmaking, and at least one chart upset so bewildering it nearly makes Robson & Jerome sound like a threat.
In this week’s dispatch, Contributing Author and historian Bill Bois introduces us to a man who heard a weird noise on Radio Moscow and thought, quite reasonably, that his radio had finally given up. Instead, it turns out Paul Pena was just warming up for his eventual career as Tuva’s most improbable “Earthquake,” proving once again that the universe rewards curiosity—and occasionally, bathroom acoustics.
In this final installment of a three-chapter tour through the 1980s charts, Contributing Author Ozmoe explains why some songs achieved year-end canonization while others apparently slipped behind the office radiator. It’s a data-driven joyride through pop nostalgia where even the numerical footnotes seem to be wrestling with their own identity.