Collaboration Callout: Your “Improbable Band” Backstories

Greetings, Amazing TNOCS Collaborators!

To our readers in the USA: we hope that you had a wonderful Independence Day Holiday!

I had a rare day off. I got up at the crack of noon dawn, so as not to miss a single moment of…

… the festive parades…

…the traditional grilling fare…

…And to relish in that special, overwhelming, patriotic and celebratory experience, that comes every July 4!

To participate in that palpable and communal feeling, as it washes over the hearts and souls of an entire nation!

Maybe we could take a little break from navigating our troubled political waters?

Let’s pivot:

… 720°, or so:

Remember these guys?

Do you remember the story of how they got their name?

“The Beatles’ name was inspired by a pun on musical beats and as a nod to Buddy Holly’s band, The Crickets.“

Or how about this famous duo?

“In a Melody Maker singles column in May 1993, writer Dave Jennings described the band Darlin”s ‘Cindy So Loud’ as a “daft punky thrash”. Darlin’ members Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo were reading – and nabbed the phrase for their new band’s name.“

And who could ever forget the legendary inspiration for Becker and Fagen’s nom-de-band?

“Steely Dan is named after a wholesome and traditional old-world oatmeal cookie recipe.”

OK. So I might need to do a tiny bit better job on fact-checking.

“But,” you are asking, “what does this all have to do with me?”

Happy to explain. You might agree that even a ‘not-really-an-actual-band’ band needs an awesome backstory. Their legend is an important part of their career! The fascinating, tell-all details of:

• How on earth did they get their odd name?
• Who are the members, and where did they come from?
• What song was their big hit – or their huge ‘swing-and-a-miss’?
• Are they still performing – and if not… what happened?

You likely remember Bill “Virgindog” Bois’ famous “Cool (But Not Really Existing) Band Names List.”

Over the years, Bill has compiled some wonderful yet fictitious names from multiple sources, to include the commenters of The Number Ones Comments Section, and the good folks that hang here at tnocs.com.
_{Photo credit: The lovely Ms. Virgindog}

I reached out to Bill on July 4. Within just five minutes after polishing off his second blueberry pie of the day, he graciously curated 25 of his personal favorites for this bit.

And, wow, did he ever come through: Just look at this lineup:

• Mercury’s In Thermometers
• Simulated Lizard
• These Chicken Washers
• Buttonhole Rose
• Meme Juice <— Reserved!
• Hookworms Blew My Mind
• Spherical Armadillo
• Muffin Walloper <— Reserved!
• The Arty Dirtbags
• Sensitivity Cape <— Reserved!
• Path Of Totality
• The Shrunken White Elephants of Style <— Reserved!
• Strategic Harmonies <— Reserved!
• Gratuitous Barking Dogs
• Rattlejaw <— Reserved
• Spaghetti Strap
• Rats On Display
• Beef Pivot <— Reserved!
• Wax Horrific
• Scale Model Citizens
• Rage Against Florence + The Machine
• The Hokey Pokers
• Gutterplop
• The One Hit Blunders
• Magnifying Glass Of Shame

I don’t know about you, but I’m already looking forward to the festival performances.

So here’s the deal: Bill and I invite the confoundingly creative denizens of tnocs.com to write the backstory of their favorite.

Write the history that you want the world to know, and send it over to submissions@tnocs.com .

As ever, be sure to chime in with your thoughts in the comments below, but just for fun:

Don’t reveal your choice!
We’ll have some fun when the article drops, and try to guess who wrote each piece.

We’ll have Gary and Goodboy do their collab layout thing, and publish the whole shebang in an article next week!

And be sure follow this space: Because as our readers make their choices:

We’ll be crossing off the reserved bands in real-time:
… to avoid any duplication.

It’s first come, first served – Grab a spot and send over your choice today…

… and then follow up with your favorite ersatz-band story!

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