Themes that made you run to save your seat on the couch
Here are what I would consider the greatest theme songs of evening television shows that debuted in the 1970s: my formative years of TV addiction.
They are ranked in reverse order.
Bear in mind, the greatness of the theme does not necessarily correlate with how successful the show happened to be, my personal opinion of the show, or how nostalgic I feel when I hear it.
Also, note that this is based solely on television viewing in the U.S.
So here are the rankings. Fight me.
20. Eight is Enough
1977–1981
This lively, energetic instrumental piece set the tone perfectly for a show about a household bustling with 8 offspring and subplots galore.
Alternating between patterns of 7 and 8, the original theme was a gentler offering from the Mission: Impossible school of giving us an odd meter to keep us on our toes and engaged right from the open.
Then it was replaced by an acoustic ballad, sung by Grant Goodeve, who portrayed the eldest son.
The new theme had its charms and was effectively sappy, but I always missed the original.
19. The Streets of San Francisco
1972–1977
A crime drama starring Michael Douglas and Karl Malden.
The theme song has that gritty early 70s funky feel that permeated cop shows at the time.
You know, the kind that makes it clear that something bad is about to go down on the streets: but these guys are on it.
And it really brings it on all fronts—wah-wah guitar on the wettest setting, mega-hyperactive drums, blustering brass, and a jazzy mid-section complete with a sizzling walking bass line. So much happening in just under a minute and a half, and it all works.
18. Spider-Man
1977–1979
Part disco, part early 70s cop show, anyone listening to this that was unfamiliar with it would be shocked to learn that it was the theme for a live action Spider-man tv show.
First of all, it sounds nothing like a superhero theme. Second of all, most people weren’t aware that long before Tobey Maguire and his rebooted successors, there was this version of our web spinning hero.
Make no mistake. It’s terrible.
I was a huge Spidey fan, and I could not sit through more than a couple of episodes. But the theme song? A hot slab of grimy goodness.
17. Wonder Woman
1976–1979
Neal Hefti’s Batman theme got it right lyrically.
Nothing but “Bat-man!” sung repeatedly over chromatic chord changes and a driving rock beat that’s part spy and part beach blanket. Nothing else is needed. (See mt58’s comments on this in an early tnocs article.) It’s a thick slice of Velveeta and at the same time it means business.
The Wonder Woman theme could have learned something from this.
All that is needed is the background singers belting out “Wonder Woman!” with that stone cold groove underneath. Instead, we get a whiny male vocal that finds it somehow necessary to describe her various abilities:
- Make a hawk a dove
- Stop a war with love
- Make a liar tell the truth
And her mission to kick Nazi butt:
- Stop a bullet cold
- Make the Axis fold
- Change their minds and change the world
I do have to admit that “In your satin tights, fighting for your rights, and the old Red, White, and Blue” sung unironically is amazing. But seriously, ditch that annoying wonk, and this gets ranked much higher.
16. S.W.A.T.
1975–1976
As you may or may not recall, this killer disco banger went all the way to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100.
The show lasted only two seasons. Subsequently, the song faded from public consciousness to the point of all but disappearing, but those of us of a certain age didn’t forget its awesomeness.
A couple of decades later, I was at a friend’s birthday party, and there was a piano. I sat down to play. Someone requested Gershwin. I didn’t know much of anything by him and was unable to oblige. (I am a bit more well-versed in the Gershwin songbook these days.) Another party guest requested “Theme from S.W.A.T” and I was all over it.
15. The Muppet Show
1976–1981
Okay, maybe this one is pure nostalgia.
I have no way of objectively knowing.
14. Laverne & Shirley
1976–1983
The show’s intro begins with the two women skipping together as if they are schoolgirls, chanting
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
Shlemiel, Schlemazel
Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!”
That alone lands this here, but the cheerfully optimistic chorus that follows totally fits the vibe of two scrappy working girls trying to make it in the city and having a crazy fun time doing it.
13. One Day at a Time
1975–1984
Terminally upbeat, both musically and lyrically, this lively cross between country and Gospel nails the tone of the show from the word go.
12. The White Shadow
1978–1981
As the opening theme for a show about a former NBA player coaching an inner-city high school team, the slamming funk beat and slapping bass match the intensity of basketballs pounding the floor in a hotly contested match-up in a place where much more than winning a game is on the line.
The show had its playful, fun side, but never shied away from delving into the hard reality of the world which it portrayed. The theme adeptly mirrors all of this and also totally rips.
11. Alice
Closing instrumental, Season 4
(1976–1985)
Linda Lavin as Alice does an admirable job belting out the opening theme, going full Broadway diva, but it’s the instrumental version of that theme used for the closing credits in Season 4 that really spoke to me.
The saxophone lays it down nice and easy, and the band is locked in at just the right tempo.
10. The Rockford Files
1974–1980
The use of the Moog synthesizer as the melody instrument gives this a touch of prog-rock, setting it apart from the typical detective show theme song.
Somehow, I picture the guys from Styx pumping their fists listening to this.
9. All in the Family
1971–1979
Probably the most brutally subversive lyrics in television theme song history, pricelessly delivered by Archie and Edith.
It ingeniously made the target audience feel at home with the characters and laugh, likely unaware that they were in fact, laughing at themselves.
8. WKRP in Cincinnati
Closing theme
(1978–1982)
This rocker blowing the doors off of the closing credits made you feel like you had just hung out at a radio station in the 70s.
And if you’re wondering what is actually being sung, keep wondering. The composer, Jim Ellis, hadn’t written the lyrics yet and just sang gibberish as a placeholder on the demo. The show’s producers loved it as is and just went with it.
7. The Incredible Hulk
Closing theme (1978–1982)
This show connected emotionally at a surprisingly deep level.
Nothing communicated that better than the poignantly sad piano theme at the end of every episode. Appropriately named “The Lonely Man Theme” its melancholic and somewhat discordant strains could be heard as David Banner leaves town and hits the road to wherever it may take him:
Never to see any of those he had helped and with whom he had bonded again.
He cannot get close to anyone and must drift from place to place, to keep his secret identity intact, avoid hurting others, and continue his search to find a cure to rid him of his Hulk alter identity once and for all.
Pass the Kleenex.
6. Baretta
1975–1978
Everything about this scorcher of a theme is perfect, but when you get right down to it, one needs only to take away one life lesson here.
“Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” Preach, Sammy Davis Jr.
5. The Mary Tyler Moore Show
1970–1977
If you want everyone rooting for your unconventional for the time main character right out of the box, just give her a theme song like this.
And ending with the line “you’re gonna make it after all” followed by that hat toss in a freeze frame may be one of the most iconic tv moments ever.
4. Barney Miller
1975–1982
This jam gives off the vibe that it wasn’t actually written, but just sort of happened.
I picture the music supervisor just assembling a bunch of session cats in the recording studio with the simple directive to “just play, man.”
- Bass player lays down a nasty groove for the ages
- The rest of the musicians instinctively know what to do over the top
- Immortal greatness ensues.
Yes, I am aware that it wasn’t quite that simple, but just let me have this.) There seem to be several different versions that were used throughout the course of the show. My preference is Season 3.
3. The Jeffersons
1975–1985
Also known as “Movin’ On Up,” this fierce and catchy as hell, I mean heaven Gospel number shreds its way through anything in the way of its titular ascent.
Just try to stop it. Lead singer and co-writer Ja’net Dubois and her backing choir are pure fire. Church is in session and I’m a true believer.
2. The Bob Newhart Show
Season 5 opening theme (1972–1978)
For seasons 1-4 the music used for the opening of the show starts out with an eniergetic light funk horn thing as Bob leaves work and makes his way through downtown Chicago.
Then it suddenly morphs into a more mellow Bachrach-esque relaxed swing as he gets on the train.
It stays in that leisurely mode until he arrives at home to his wife. It’s a solid piece of music and adequately serviceable to the premise of the show.
Then after four successful seasons, somebody decided it was time to give the opening a bit more swagger.
Using the same two themes, they beef up the horns so it’s more like a progressive big band arrangement, with a leaner, less cheesy funk groove.
And unlike the original, it never changes into the softer feel. Instead, the lead trumpet takes the second melody and triumphantly soars into the stratospheres. This version totally cooks from start to finish.
1. The Love Boat
1977–1986
This isn’t just merely a theme song.
It’s a beacon of hope, or a ray of light if you will, in a world filled with dark cynicism.
When venerable crooner Jack Jones sings:
“Love, life’s sweetest reward, let it flow, it floats back to you,”
…we know down to the deepest part of our being that we need not look any further. This is the key to life itself, set to a take-no-prisoners Latin disco beat. Nothing beats this.
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I will be humming these all day. There are worse things to do. Thanks for the earworms, rb.
No Good Times? Blasphemy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8YYTBnFkY8
nope, was considered but didn’t make the cut. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its merits.
I like the call and response.
Temporary layoffs.
Good times!
I always thought that was kind of brilliant.
When I heard The Staples Singers cover of “Slippery People”, it made me wonder if David Byrne was inspired by the “Good Times” theme song.
At odd times, unbidden, standing in line at the credit union…
Temporary layoffs.
Good times!
I was a backup singer on the “welcome back, welcome back, welcome back” chorus parts for John Sebastian in October,1977 when he performed this live in Boston.
I mean, technically, so were 2600 other people. But I’m still putting it on my resume.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmm3KTa601s
Not sure how to respond to this.
I was going to suggest the Cheers theme song but that was 80s, wasn’t it?
The one I expected to see but didn’t is “Suicide Is Painless” from M*A*S*H. Not a banger exactly, but iconic and beautiful.
https://youtu.be/GIGYLBVjYZA
Quick story about the Barney Miller theme: I packed my gear after a hotel gig and had a conversation with a group at a table up front. One guy asked what my favorite bass part was and for some reason I said the Barney Miller theme song. He say, “You don’t know that.” I said I did and he offered me $20 to play it. So I set up my gear again.
Hey, twenty bucks is twenty bucks.
IMHO, The M*A*S*H* theme is way to mellow for its subject matter. It does nothing musically to set the stage of the tone of the show at all. So no, I did not include it. I know there are words, but they were not used for the actual show.
I absolutely love your Barney Miller story.
Cheers debuted in ’82. It for sure would have been included otherwise.
Did you see the film version of M*A*S*H?
Lyrics.
They were written by the filmmaker’s nephew.
I’m just speculating. That’s probably how Robert Altman got the idea to enlist the actors to write their own songs in Nashville.
I’m at a disadvantage due to age and location. I’ve heard of 13 of these shows but the majority of them didn’t make it to these shores.
The only ones I ever watched were;
– The Hulk but I have no memory of the sad piano ending. I was 6 though so I was never going to be targrt audience for that.
– The Muppets. Which despite being 5 when that ended is ingrained in my memory and will never be forgotten.
Coming to everything but The Muppets cold, by far my favourite of these is Baretta.
Keep your eye on the sparrow, JJ!
There’s nothing that gets Gen Xers or Boomers going like talking about TV theme songs. Sadly the last decade or two haven’t featured many theme songs. It is amazing that 30 minute shows…24 minutes after commercials…would use 60 seconds of their time for an opening theme and 30 seconds for a closing theme.
But they were great! Seriously, I’m almost ashamed at how incredibly I am emotionally affected by hearing a favorite TV theme song from my childhood. Even shows that I didn’t watch! I saw zero episodes of Mary Tyler Moore as a kid, but I still remember the theme and the opening sequence, and it remains one of my all time favorite TV themes.
You have a great list here. The most surprising omission to me is “Sanford and Son” which always gets a lot of love, and is great. Not surprising that “The Jeffersons” is so high. I adore “Home to Emily” the theme from the Bob Newhart Show, so I’m glad it reached #2.
One of the most sentimental to me is the opening theme from “Little House on the Prairie” by David Rose. It gives me goosebumps. I have also mentioned before how it wins for my most potent earworm ever as one time in 2005 I had this song on repeat in my head at full intensity for like 4 or 5 days. Crazy. But crazy good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t77tvcS7Fuk
You would have thought I would have included Sanford and Son theme, and it was certainly considered but didn’t quite make the cut.
I watched Little House on the Prairie as a kid but the theme song left no impression on me. It’s decent, but I didn’t find it stand-out enough to include it in the top 20. That’s a very long earworm by the way. Glad you didn’t mind it.
I will play. I have a feeling this’ll fall into the same hopper as ‘Suicide Is Painless’ (too mellow, perhaps), but I’ll stan for the theme from Taxi (or ‘Angela’) by Bob James. A prime cut of quiet storm jazz. Otherwise, great stuff, rollerboogie!
Yes, you called it. As a theme song for a raucous, crazy, dysfunctional show like Taxi, it just doesn’t work and actually sets a tranquil mood that doesn’t fit the show at all. By itself, yes, it’s a decent piece of music, particularly the full version. It’s a nice “chill out after a weird day at work” track, which is what it’s helping me do right now.
“One Day at a Time” is underrated. Good choice.
Did you know Linda Lavin recorded an album? Imagine Alice Hyatt getting her big break. The highlight is her Steely Dan cover of “Black Cow”.
On Spotify, there is, perhaps, a demo version(?) of the “Eight is Enough” theme song. Cheap synths and a drum machine; it sounds like early Magnetic Fields.
I’m listening to the “Black Cow” cover by Linda Lavin. What a find! Thank you for mentioning it. So happy this exists.
I think I found what sounds like a demo of the Eight is Enough theme, but it’s of the Grant Goodeve helmed version from season 3 and beyond. It is far more intriguing than the actual version.
You’re on a roll with these mentions, cappie.