Having Fun With The Headline (And Getting Serious About The Article)

I saw this headline in my newsfeed recently:

My First Grader Handed Me A 9-Word Note. When I Read It, My Stomach Dropped.

Without knowing anything about the article, I immediately made a list of possible 9-word answers as to what a note from a six-year-old could have said that would be a cause for such a reaction from the parent:

1. Poop looks like chocolate but doesn’t taste like it.

2. Lee Greenwood lives under my bed and keeps singing.

3. I bit a kid today and it felt nice.

4. I wish Tarantino’s films were a little more violent.

5. I watered the neighbor’s flowers. With my own pee.

6. I don’t need church. Paw Patrol will save me.

7. Stabbing someone with safety scissors can still hurt them.

8. Food tastes even better when it’s from the garbage.

9. After you die, I’m going to get a dog.

10. You don’t have any idea what you are doing.

11. Fantasy- popping Caillou’s head like a giant pimple.

12. The ghost in my room does not like you.

13. When we die, do our bodies just fall apart?

14. You are mean. I’m going to live with Cher.

15. I know you replaced the goldfish. Stop gaslighting me.

16. The sloth from the zoo is in my closet.

17. You said girls have babies, but dad looks pregnant.

18. Your breath smells so bad it made me vomit.

19. I eat an incredible amount of sand at recess.

20. Teacher says I’m gifted, but I’m probably just weird.

My daughter actually said two of those when she was around 3 or 4. 

I’ll let you guess which ones: 

The real answer from the article of what was in the note? It was much more serious than all my initial joking around. 

“I am sad and I do not know why.”

The author goes on to say that her daughter was doing something healthy in getting in touch with her feelings, but it hit hard as a parent to see that statement in print. That moment made her think about all of the issues that affected generations of her family but were never discussed openly. She brought up the concern of passing on an “emotional inheritance” to her children.

I can relate. 

I often think about what my daughter may be picking up from me, and it can keep me up at night. 

When a difficult emotion has taken hold and she is able to process what is going on inside enough to write it down or tell us, it can be hard to hear it, but it’s much better than not knowing at all. 

When I was in my 40s, my mother began expressing similar regrets about what she may have passed on to me, particularly when I would talk to her about some of my inner struggles related to anxiety. 

I told her that at some point she needed to stop blaming herself. I was a grown adult and had long been responsible for my own mental health, for better or for worse. 

As a parent myself, however, I increasingly get why she felt the way she did.

In the end, the author makes a pledge to stay close “when the feelings get big” and to help her children deal with whatever it is they’re experiencing inside, so that they don’t have to face it alone. 

I think that is about the best one can do as a parent. 

Being able to see past our emotions to be there for our child can be difficult and messy when it taps into our own issues. But it’s important to remember that it’s what we are meant to do and that our kids are counting on it, even if they don’t always show it. 

And if we are aware that our kids are struggling with some of the same stuff we do, we can choose to empathize, and give them the support we would need in the same situation.

The article turned out to be very insightful and relevant for me.

But…

I also enjoyed having a bit of fun with that headline.

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