JJ’s SOS, Volume 6 digs deep…
Previously, I’ve focused on the biggest streaming hits.
But now? It’s time for a different perspective.
These are the least listened to Hot 100 #1s.
I’ve gone decade-by-decade, so the songs are measured against their peers to find what isn’t standing the test of time.
There are some of the usual suspects at the bottom of the barrel, but there are big names caught up as well:
1.) “The Happy Organ”
Dave “Baby” Cortez – 1959
2,094,256
2.) “Why?”
Frankie Avalon – 1959
4,997,628
3.) “To Know Him Is To Love Him”
The Teddy Bears – 1958
5,234,662
4.) “Little Star”
The Elegants – 1958
6,169,671
5.) “The Three Bells”
The Browns – 1959
6,822,139
6.) “Tom Dooley”
The Kingston Trio – 1958
8,532,228
7.) “Kansas City”
Wilbert Harrison – 1959
11,543,623
8.) “Lonely Boy”
Paul Anka – 1959
15,411,888
9.) “Stagger Lee”
Lloyd Price – 1959
16,429,583
10.) “A Big Hunk O’ Love”
Elvis Presley – 1959
23,474,960
The numbers are modest for our first decade, but not as low as I’d expected…
…Apart from the #1.
This is from a limited source pool of 22 #1’s as the Hot 100 got going. It finds Elvis in the mix, which I wasn’t expecting.
That one track out on its own is “The Happy Organ,” a real throwback to a bygone age that hasn’t transferred well to modern times.
1.) “Wooden Heart”
Joe Dowell – 1961
382,009
2.) “Mr Custer”
Larry Verne – 1960
560,351
3.) “I’m Leaving It Up To You”
Dale and Grace – 1963
763,155
4.) “My Heart Has A Mind Of It’s Own”
Connie Francis – 1960
1,147,266
5.) “Easier Said Than Done”
The Essex – 1963
1,221,583
6.) “Teen Angel”
Mark Dinning – 1960
1,267,766
7.) “Calcutta”
Lawrence Welk – 1961
1,676,734
8.) “Over And Over”
The Dave Clark Five – 1965
1,831,943
9.) “Alley Oop”
Hollywood Argyles – 1960
1,899,021
10.) “I Want To Be Wanted”
Brenda Lee – 1960
2,044,963
It’s downhill from the 50s. All of the 60s bottom dwellers have less streams than the lowest of the 50s. Maybe “The Happy Organ” is doing OK after all.
Possibly, it was a lull awaiting the next big explosion to come after the initial burst of rock n roll.
As evidenced by only one of our bottom 10 topping the charts after the British Invasion. The errant post invasion entry proves not everything British has a well loved legacy.
Perhaps you’re surprised its not Freddie And The Dreamers.
Or Herman’s Henry VIII horrorshow. It’s:
The Dave Clark Five.
With the job of representing the post invasion landscape.
It’s hard to argue with the songs at Numbers 1 and 2. But after that the quality varies. Lawrence Welk was awarded a score of 2 by reviewer Tom Breihan – the same as Joe Dowell – but it’s still doing better than much higher rated songs by Dale & Grace, Connie Francis, The Essex and Mark Dinning.
Though when it comes the battle of German / German adjacent bandleaders, Lawrence Welk takes a comprehensive beating from Bert Kaempfert:
Who is well clear of the bottom tier.
1.) “Want Ads”
Honey Cone – 1971
987,741
2.) “Disco Duck”
Rick Dees And His Cast Of Idiots – 1976
998,436
3.) “Theme From S.W.A.T”
Rhythm Heritage – 1976
1,677,022
4.) “Undercover Angel”
Alan O’Day – 1977
2,544,957
5.) “Star Wars Theme / Cantina Band”
Meco – 1977
2,583,967
6.) “Brother Louie”
Stories – 1973
2,869,492
7.) “Go Away Little Girl”
Donny Osmond – 1971
3,332,418
8.) “One Bad Apple”
The Osmonds – 1971
3,454,888
9.) “He Don’t Love You (Like I Do)”
Tony Orlando And Dawn – 1975
3,458,489
10.) “Everything Is Beautiful”
Ray Stevens – 1970
3,774,703
Onwards to some truly terrible songs. Once again, this selection is beaten hands down by the 50s and we still have a couple of tracks struggling towards a million plays.
All those ears that “Disco Duck” tortured in 1976 haven’t yet forgiven it, but it does just enough to consign “Want Ads” to ignominy.
The Osmonds are consistent, there’s not much between Donny and the collective. “Go Away Little Girl” as the well deserved recipient of a 1 from Tom.
It rightly scores less plays than “One Bad Apple.”
Repeat offenders of the decade are featured with Tony Orlando and Ray Stevens creeping into the bottom 10. Ray attempting to be sincere is considered worse than trying to be funny as “The Streak” avoids taking what many would assume is its rightful place here.
Be assured. music fans: that its not by much.
It’s in 18th position.
Also conspicuous by its absence is “My Ding-A-Ling.” I thought it would feature but it crawls it’s way out of the pit to be the 14th least listened to #1 of the 70s.
1.) “Rock On”
Michael Damian – 1989
1,458,876
2.) “Seasons Change”
Exposé – 1988
3,931,446
3.) “Satisfied”
Richard Marx – 1989
6,718,426
4.) “At This Moment”
Billy Vera And The Beaters – 1987
8,132,238
5.) “Forever Your Girl”
Paula Abdul – 1989
8,137,374
6.) “Jacob’s Ladder”
Huey Lewis And The News – 1987
8,796,923
7.) “Lean On Me”
Club Nouveau – 1987
10,385,762
8.) “Batdance”
Prince – 1989
10,942,047
9.) “Monkey”
George Michael – 1988
11,163,673
10.) “Lost In Emotion”
Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam – 1987
11,881,545
For the early 60s, read the late 80s. Based on these numbers something went badly wrong from 1987. There was good music around – but there was also… whatever this lot represents.
There’s big names caught up in it. George Michael, Prince and Huey Lewis chief amongst them.
They all have a fallback that they have plenty more songs that fare a whole lot better.
For George, Huey and Paula Abdul these are the forgotten hits spun off huge albums. The ones that got to #1 on momentum then promptly forgotten in favour of the good stuff.
Whereas Prince was just over his peak but had the blockbusting success of Batman to thank for his unwarranted hit.
There’s a clear loser in “Rock On.”
Michael Darmian may have the accolade of a #1 record.
But it’s the David Essex original that is the go-to version, having passed 20m plays.
1.) “Lately”
Divine – 1998
15,429
2.) “She Ain’t Worth It”
Glenn Medeiros and Bobby Brown – 1990
1,460,118
3.) “If Wishes Came True”
Sweet Sensation – 1990
1,889,307
4.) “Romantic”
Karyn White – 1991
2,790,226
5.) “I’ll Be Your Everything”
Tommy Page – 1990
3,484,586
6.) “The Promise Of A New Day”
Paula Abdul – 1991
3,804,833
7.) “Coming Out Of The Dark”
Gloria Estefan – 1991
4,231,614
8.) “The First Time”
Surface – 1991
4,876,843
9.) “I Adore Mi Amor”
Color Me Badd – 1991
7,763,465
10.) “Black Cat”
Janet Jackson – 1990
12,451,539
The late 80s slump continues through to 1991 with all but one of these offerings crammed into 90/91.
That one is a big standout as it tops our ten.
Divine didn’t hang around for long, they did also squeeze a cover of George Michael’s “One More Try” into the top 30 but after one album they were done.
They left so little of an impact that their Wiki page is the sparsest of entries; no information other than their names, the briefest of discographies and that they broke up in 2000.
On that basis it’s no surprise they take the honours for the 90s.
There is a little asterisk here: I did find a Reddit comment from three years ago that at that point “Lately” wasn’t available on streaming services. Even accounting for it being a late addition. the impression is of a band left behind in history, so little regarded that even adding their album to streaming was an afterthought.
Re-checking… and “Lately” has mustered a further 11 plays in the last week. This isn’t a track rushing towards the million mark.
Elsewhere, the Top 10 features a number of other acts that didn’t have extensive Hot 100 careers.
The main outliers being a trio of female singers; Janet Jackson, Gloria Estefan and Paula Abdul (again). There’s something about early 90s female singers as just outside the top 10 are Madonna, Mariah Carey, Monica and two Wilson Phillips efforts.
They all had a lot of hits in this period and have much stronger figures with other songs. For the fans: are these the ones that don’t quite match up in comparison?
1.) “Do I Make You Proud”
Taylor Hicks Tribute Band* – 2006
26,004
2.) “This Is The Night”
Clay Aiken – 2003
540,024
3.) “Inside Your Heart”
Carrie Underwood – 2005
6,797,419
4.) “I Believe”
Fantasia – 2004
8,542,100
5.) “Doesn’t Really Matter”
Janet Jackson – 2000
15,013,844
6.) “Bent”
Matchbox Twenty – 2000
45,584,229
7.) “Stutter”
Joe ft Mystikal – 2001
47,694,770
8.) “Don’t Forget About Us”
Mariah Carey – 2006
58,528,776
9.) “Thank God I Found You”
Mariah Carey ft Joe And 98° – 2000
66,001,889
10.) “This Is Why I’m Hot”
Mims – 2007
67,054,200
It’s the age of the Idol. False idols.
American Idol delivered five #1’s, and they almost deliver an imperfect Top 5. Kelly Clarkson is the escapee.
She shouldn’t feel too relieved. “A Moment Like This” is parked at #11.
There is a great big asterisk against Taylor Hicks.
I figured it might happen in the 50s, but every song is available to listen to. So it was a surprise that I couldn’t find “Do I Make You Proud.”
Taylor’s 2006 post-Idol debut album is there along with a smattering of later efforts, but no sign of this song.
Not even on the American Idol 10th Anniversary Hits compilation.
Taylor was the last Idol winner to hit #1. Maybe everyone decided it was so bad that it broke the curse and should never be mentioned again. Maybe it’s the revenge of Simon Cowell.
I found a couple of Reddit threads with comments from 2 years ago that it was at 2.8m streams. Why it’s been removed, I can’t find out.
What we’re left with is a version of “Do I Make You Proud” credited to:
The Taylor Hicks Tribute Band.
They have 10 tracks available mirroring what Taylor sang on his Idol journey. I was amazed to see they have as many 171 monthly listeners. The Soul Squad lives on.
Assuming that the two-year old comments are correct it would leave Clay Aiken far adrift at the bottom of the pile.
Not that it would do much for Taylor’s ego, the trajectory such that he’d very likely still be at Number 2.
Who knew that those boilerplate songs written for the winner regardless of their voice, gender, style would leave little trace?
1.) “Hold It Against Me”
Britney Spears – 2011
81,320,544
2.) “Harlem Shake”
Baauer – 2013
94,147,672
3.) “3”
Britney Spears – 2010
123,193,356
4.) “Imma Be”
Black Eyed Peas – 2010
258,356,145
5.) “E.T”
Katy Perry ft Kanye – 2011
276,610,730
6.) “We R Who We R”
Kesha – 2010
363,154,046
7.) “OMG”
Usher ft Will.I.Am – 2010
410,046,929
8.) “Sexy And I Know It”
LMFAO – 2012
502,532,806
9.) “Part Of Me”
Katy Perry – 2012
655,719,192
10.) “Break Your Heart”
Taio Cruz ft Ludacris – 2010
673,479,604
The figures reflect that we’re now in the streaming age with Spotify and other platforms the natural home of these songs. Though it’s another decade biased to one end.
Reflecting the growth of Spotify perhaps as increasing user numbers allowed for later #1s to generate bigger figures on release.
Taio Cruz could be aggrieved to be rounding out the bottom 10 on 673m plays, but he and the others can take comfort that they have much bigger streaming songs.
That is with the exception of Baauer.
Who managed to break through with the modern version of a novelty song and has nothing else that comes close.
Britney’s double presence proves that she still had enough goodwill to keep her at the top of the charts but it’s the earlier stuff that is the draw.
Katy Perry suffers the same problem as George Michael in the 80s.
The momentum of earlier, better singles in the release schedule carrying “E.T” and “Part Of Me” to the top.
If you’ve found any of your favourites in this selection, don’t take it to heart:
See it as proof you go your own way – and won’t be swayed by popular opinion.
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I wonder whether “Want Ads” wasn’t originally available or something. (Then, too, does the streaming generation know what a “want ad” is?) Regardless, I love it and am sad to see it rank below “Disco Duck.”
When a song became available on Spotify is the one variable I can’t see. There are services aimed at music industry insiders that provide a huge range of stats but they require a monthly subscription fee. They provide a basic free service where I’ve been able to verify the headline figure.
Want Ads is hands down a better song than Disco Duck. Quantity does not necessarily equate to quality. Perhaps it’s a matter of notoriety that younger listeners are inclined to seek out DD to check out how bad it is. While those old enough are likely to have a stronger memory of something they hated and check it’s still as bad as they remembered.
In a just cinematic world, that weird phenomenon that caused almost the whole world to forget the Beatles would have happened to Disco Duck instead. And mt, I know you tried to defend it, but sometimes bad is just bad.
“Want Ads” has struck me as a #1 that has been unjustly forgotten over time. I had no recollection of ever hearing it until Tom covered it, and 1971 is the first year I became aware of a lot of songs that got played on the radio frequently. It’s a little surprising to me that it’s first on the list for the decade, but not too much. Keep championing it, cst. We’ll get that number up.
Contrary to the title, most of us who have been devotees of Tom’s column during the time covered here probably have not forgotten most of these songs, but that said, the majority listed in the bottom 10s are not surprising.
As far as I’m concerned, Calcutta is much better than it should be. It helps to have a great love of the harpsichord. I’m going to get its numbers up and get it off that list if I have to do it myself. And regarding that early 60s lull you mentioned, it’s fortunate that it was just a lull, in regard to rock and roll. If the British Invasion hadn’t happened, and there are no guarantees in life, rock was headed toward a premature death here. With just a few exceptions, it really had all but lost its way, and not just because Elvis went into the military and Jerry Lee married his 13 year old cousin.
I hadn’t heard a lot of these 50s and 60s tracks. I re-read Tom’s assessments and gave them a listen this time. Calcutta isn’t for me I’m afraid but I did like Dale & Grace. Based on the photo of them I was expecting something a lot more schmaltzy but it surprised me.
There was still a need for something much more exciting to happen though. A movement to give teenagers something to go wild over.
Thx for doing this JJ
I used to do a Spotify summary for the #1s and posted it at the mothership every virtual 5 years but stopped when they paid a podcast guy 200 million dollars while paying musicians squat >:(
For that pack of low plays for songs from the late 1980s and early 90s, I’ve heard young people who make videos about pop music on Youtube, and their commenters, complain about how the music from that era sounds. It’s not the songs themselves, but something about the way the vocals are produced using the technology of the time sounds unpleasant to them. I think I’ve seen the term “tinny” to describe it.
Interesting take on that, thanks. On a personal level I entered my teens in 1989 so these few years should be the perfect time for these songs to have a nostalgic glow. Even aside from the production though, there’s none of the them that I could make a case for why they don’t deserve to be down there. I much prefer the #1s before and after this period.
“Forever Your Girl” is a great song that doesn’t deserve to be on that list. “Opposites Attract” should be there instead.
Some quick thoughts here, and great job as always, JJ:
Everything Is Beautiful reached #6 in the UK – we preferred The Streak though, a #1.
The others you mention didn’t chart here.
You may well be right on Dave Clark. I’ve read a number of takes on how controlling he was, with the band and his business dealings. He bought the rights to 60s music TV show Ready Steady Go and re-edited it for re-runs and VHS/DVD with footage of Dave Clark 5 inserted into episodes they didn’t appear on. It would seem karma has been served if his ego is the reason for them slipping out of memory.
I’ve read every one of Tom’s TNOs articles, which means I have heard every one of these songs at least once.
More than half of the songs on this list made me think “WTH is that song? That can’t of existed.”
Like, NONE of the American Idol ones are real, right? You’re just making things up now.
You got me, I made it all up. I’m testing out a new series of dystopian fiction in which an evil record exec controls the means of music production to mollify the masses. Need to work on the ending to bring in some dramatic tension as currently he’s brought down by everyone just getting bored of it.
I’ll always go to bat for “Why”, the last #1 song of the 1950s. But I also really love “I’m Leaving It All Up To You” and “Alley-Oop”. Not to mention “Theme from S.W.A.T.”, “Undercover Angel”, “Star Wars/Cantina Band”. And except for the final part that goes on too long, I really love “Batdance”.
Proof that you go your own way Link. Or have a better memory than most not to have forgotten these. Being in the bottom 10 doesn’t mean they’re bad tunes. I checked Tom B’s ratings for them all and there’s everything from 1s to 9s. Some songs fall through the cracks and there’s no simple reason why.
I have zero memory of “Jacob’s Ladder”. This is the third time the Huey Lewis & The News chart-topper has been mentioned. This is also the third time I had to play the song to remind myself what it sounded like. I remember the film Jacob’s Ladder. There is a scene in the Adrian Lyne film involving the late Elizabeth Pena that is underrated as an all-timer.
Snap! Remember Jacob’s Ladder the flim but the song?? Like Blu Cheez’s comment, I’ve read all of Tom’s columns so I must have been aware of its existence at one point but it still came as a surprise this time round.
Jacob’s Ladder strikes me as what they call or used to call a turntable hit, meaning it got airplay on radio stations disproportionate to its sales. These generally are largely forgotten because they really weren’t popular with the public but fit the needs of stations’ playlists.