Keeping Those Cards And Letters Coming

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Excuse me for a moment while I step back into the social medium…

Of 1972:

Or 1952:

…And that Percy Faith record? It sure razzes my berries…”

or 1922:

If it’s those Advent days between Thanksgiving and Christmas?

The chances are good that I’m working on my holiday cards.

To send out to loved ones near and far, past and present. The closer we get to December 25, the likelier I’ll have seasonal music in the background. (Right now, the room is quiet – I’m not quite there yet.)

My relationship with holiday cards and letters has shifted throughout my adulthood. There was a time as a thirtysomething where my eyes would roll whenever I got a card including a detailed letter of a friend’s accomplishments – with a brief acknowledgment at the end of our friendship, and well wishes for the year ahead.

Now? I’m grateful whenever I see such a letter.

In these days of Facebook and Twitter and Tik-Tok and (fill in the blank with the latest medium), the expectation that all of us have kept up with the latest from everyone means that there are very few update letters any more.

Heck, even the receipt of a card itself is a wonderful reminder that someone is still out there and still cares enough about our relationship to check in.

Each year is an opportunity for me to begin with gratitude.

As I review the holiday card list, I take a moment to remember the person whose name lies before me and think about the moments that readily come to mind when I see that name.

Sometimes, with a lump in my throat, I delete the name of a loved one who passed away between last holiday season and now. Occasionally, I’m excited to add the name and address of a new friend in our lives – or, just as exciting, an old friend who has reconnected.

This year’s holiday card list has about 180 names. Some are linked by blood – my brother, sister, mom and loads of cousins from both sides of the family tree.

But most are family by choice, the accumulation of decades of relationships from schools, newsrooms, church communities, neighborhoods, bowling teams, LGBT social groups and the like.

Some years, I’ve written my own insert letters. A couple of years ago during the height of the pandemic I waxed philosophical in a “20 things we’re grateful for” format. Many years, I include a picture of Tom and me and one of the cats.

This year, I’ve gone back to basics with a brief handwritten note and our signatures. My focus this year is being timelier and simpler. So, each night starting Nov. 29, I’ve sat down and written out 10 cards. Even with my limited math skills, I figure I can get the cards to my friends’ homes before or during their respective holidays.

Chuck, gettin’ it done. We aspire to such commitment.

Then, it’s wait and wonder time. Wait to see whose gifts of relationship we receive (we’ve gotten one so far – it’s still early), and wonder what kind of cards I’ll be picking up at the sales the week between Christmas and New Year’s.

The cycle begins anew.

(A note of invitation: Respecting this site’s privacy policy, if you would like to be on my holiday cards list, you can either private message me on Messenger or feel free to email me at cssherburg@gmail.com.)

Warm wishes this season to you and all you love. 


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Chuck Small

Journalist-turned-high school counselor. Happily ensconced in Raleigh, N.C., with hubby of 32 years (10 legal).

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Phylum of Alexandria
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December 12, 2022 10:11 am

That is lovely, Chuck. Your friends and family are lucky to have someone willing to make that effort to maintain bonds and connections.

In truth, your dedication makes me feel a bit guilty, as I am pretty horrible at keeping up with that level of communication.

I think the allure of social media and texts is primarily to enable easy remote contact for people like me who would otherwise have their heads in the clouds or be consumed by whatever is happening in the moment.

I am grateful for those convenient enablers, but the contact is not nearly as thoughtful or rewarding as a handwritten letter. The time and effort and forethought, all of it means something special, and that’s great that you actually make that happen.

Three cheers to Chuck!

Aaron3000
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Aaron3000
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December 12, 2022 11:57 am

Ho-ho-hooray!

JJ Live At Leeds
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December 12, 2022 2:23 pm

That is impressive and commendable that you take the time each year to bring a little festive cheer to so many. I like the process of handpicking cards for my nearest and dearest and writing a witty comment but when it comes to extended family it feels like a chore. My daughter may have inherited my writing style. Each year we get the Christmas Card she made at school and brings home for us, last year at the age of 10 it had a lovely winter scene on the front and inside the heartfelt message read ‘To the people I live with, from the person you live with’. I was so proud. She came home disappointed last week as it card making time again at school but her teacher this year won’t allow her to go with her intended irreverent greeting. Can only imagine how warm and fuzzy a greeting it was going to be.

I do miss getting actual letters through the post though. I’ve occasionally handwritten letters to friends as a surprise – not sure if they were totally welcome as my handwriting is pretty bad (Mr White my middle school English teacher would wholeheartedly agree and despair at my lack of improvement) so the chances of the recipients interpreting my scribbles are as good as mine of deciphering the morse code mt has inserted under the 1922 photo.

Good on you Chuck.

LinkCrawford
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LinkCrawford
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December 12, 2022 3:50 pm

Bless you! We rarely send many (or receive many) Christmas cards anymore. It is a wonderful tradition that I’m sad to see go away. Optimistically, I think it has gone away because while the card used to be one of the very few communications you would have with a number of individuals, now email and social media allow us to keep in touch more frequently.

But I simply blame a lack of priority and running out of time. I want to do it every year, but I end up only sending out a few.

You’re a good egg, Chuck. 🙂

cappiethedog
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cappiethedog
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December 12, 2022 8:56 pm

Cards are so much more meaningful than receiving a Christmas card via electronic means.

This is when I realized I wasn’t young anymore.

I attended a funeral for a co-worker’s wife. He thanked everybody via Facebook.

But I’m not on Facebook.

lovethisconcept
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December 12, 2022 9:43 pm

I also still send Christmas cards, although not as many as you do. Even so, I almost never receive as many as I send, but I treasure the ones that I do get. With or without a newsy letter.

Last edited 2 years ago by lovethisconcept
DanceFever
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December 12, 2022 11:09 pm

You bring up a great Christmas tradition that is slowly falling by the wayside.
We do a few family cards and some close friends but nowhere near what our
parents and grandparents did. There was always someone in the family who was in charge of making sure the cards got out but not anymore.
I have a sneaky feeling that mt58 is coming up with a way we can all share
Christmas wishes for each other. Hint, hint.

dutchg8r
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dutchg8r
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December 13, 2022 5:35 pm

180??!! Dang Chuck, that is impressive. High five to you for making the time for it every year, and no doubt every recipient is quite grateful for your efforts. I used to try and personalize my greetings in the past, because I thought the whole typewritten generic copy of the years events was just too cold and empty.

Then I got older and crankier and lazier and said Bah Humbug to Christmas cards. Just call me DutchGrinch. 😋

Pauly Steyreen
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December 13, 2022 9:39 pm

Chuck,

You are an “Expert in a Dying Field” as The Beths would express it. I admire your steadfastness and I know your IRL friends are at least as lucky to have you in their circle as we are here in your virtual circle. And I think we’re exceptionally lucky! 🍀

I was a Xmas card guy for a long time but it petered out as I moved to a more online existence. The hardcover address book that my wife and I used to update hasn’t been touched in more than 10 years. And I am not a fan of virtual cards.

I remember for my years of college, grad school and Nepal, handwritten letters were my lifeblood. Email was nonexistent or rare or hard to come by, but an actual letter written in ink, maybe with a developed photo enclosed, could lift your spirits so much!!! And I wrote a ton back then. I think it’s a simple but very impactful way to connect that we’ve mostly lost as a society, to our collective detriment.

So kudos to you Chuck, for keeping the flame alive. You are the man!!!

Pauly Steyreen
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December 13, 2022 9:40 pm
Reply to  Pauly Steyreen

Sharing the song I’m referencing. It’s catchy and clever in equal measure.

https://youtu.be/-KACt6YhOyY

Virgindog
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Virgindog
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December 14, 2022 7:49 am

Reflecting what DanceFever and Pauly said, this popped up in my YouTube feed yesterday.

https://youtu.be/007h2thmT5U

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