Meatballs… The Lone Ranger… Darlene Love… A Brief History Of The David Letterman Christmas Episodes

Every year about this time, I look forward to revisiting my cherished holiday TV traditions.

The classics!

Those old-fashioned Yuletide moments that bring us all together. Like:

As my fellow insomniacs might also remember:

This was the oddballery provided by the annual David Letterman Christmas Episodes.

From 1986 to 2014, Letterman and the writers working at Late Night and The Late Show would celebrate the holidays by creating some of the strangest Christmas traditions ever seen on television.

The roots to the offbeat humor had an early start. Back in the 1980s when Dave was at NBC, his original Late Night program was a lot like the very early days of Saturday Night Live.

Letterman’s anti-show biz and somewhat aloof humor isn’t for everyone. Over the years, he’d been accused of being overly sarcastic, and on some occasions, even bordering on the mean-spirited. After a quintuple bypass followed by some personal soul-searching, his approach to comedy began to change.

The sometimes overly-sharp edged host started to mellow as his talk-show career progressed. and the last few years of his Late NIght With David Letterman CBS program were funnier and better for it.

In his own way, Dave was a sentimental sort. So the idea of establishing holiday traditions – quirky as they may have been – was a nod to his Mid-Western upbringing of creating and keeping lasting traditions.

The three most memorable running segments of the Late Night / Late Show Christmas episodes came about at different times.

The Quarterback Challenge

In December of 1988, New York Jets quarterback Vinny Testaverde was a guest on the show.

The festive finial was not exactly the Star of Bethlehem. It was in fact, a meatball. It must not have been Testaverde’s night, because after several failed attempts, the meatball still stood tall.

Watching all of this from backstage was actor and comedian Jay Thomas, who was scheduled to be the next guest on the show.

The crowd, as you would expect, went wild. Jay came back year after year to try and knock the meatball off the tree. Between Jay and Dave, one of them would always succeed in dislodging the topper, which was sometimes substituted for a slice of pizza. It’s as strange as you would imagine, but oddly satisfying. Here’s a montage:

In addition to his surprising pigskin prowess, Jay Thomas contributed another quirky tradition to the Christmas episodes, sharing what Dave called “the greatest talk show story ever told:”

The Lone Ranger Story

By the time ten years had passed, Thomas and the football bit had become a permanent fixture on the holiday episode.

He would also participate in a typical desk interview, and in 1998, he told The Lone Ranger Story for the first time.

Even though it had absolutely nothing to do with Christmas, his delivery of the story resonated with Letterman and the audience. And just like the football bit, a tradition was born. Over the years, like any good anecdote, a few new little facts and funny embellishments were added with each retelling.

Thomas clearly enjoyed his annual odd moment in the talk show spotlight. Even with small yearly tweaks to the yarn, the essential story always had the same punch line, and was sworn to be true.

Here’s the 2006 retelling:

For a talk show host and comedian, David Letterman had an unusually keen sense of musical taste and awareness. So for his holiday shows, he wanted to feature the original singer of what he called, “the only Christmas song that matters:”

Darlene Love Performs “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”

The Jeff Barry and Ellie Greenwich penned song dates back to 1963, and was featured on the holiday album A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector.

Darlene’s performances of “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” created a tradition that continued for 28 consecutive years. Letterman often noted the significance of Love’s presence, saying that her rendition and participation on the show was a highlight of his holiday season.

It’s interesting to see how the performance expanded throughout the years. The first from 1986 is a fun, almost “bar-band” version.

Over time, musical director Paul Schaffer kept adding musicians and enhancing the arrangement, slowly culminating in a faithful recreation of the original recording’s “Wall Of Sound” – live – right inside the Ed Sullivan Theatre. Featured here is the delightful, pull-out-all-the-stops version of Darlene’s final Letterman performance in 2014:

Darlene continues to perform her Christmas classic, most recently as part of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.

I could never quite put my finger on it:

Exactly how could a collection of a weird football stunt and a random celebrity story – coupled with a 50-plus year-old pop oldie possibly work as a holiday tradition? And why would I seek it out every year?

Maybe the answer is simple. Maybe considering the complexity and difficulties of daily life, we need a break this time of year.

It’s no Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer or A Charlie Brown Christmas. Or even The Star Wars Holiday Special. But it makes me laugh.

Thanks, Dave, for the many years of holiday memories, and the silliness of a simpler time.

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