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Meatballs… The Lone Ranger… Darlene Love… A Brief History Of The David Letterman Christmas Episodes

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Every year about this time, I look forward to revisiting my cherished holiday TV traditions.

The classics!

The ones that make you feel all warm and toasty.

Those old-fashioned Yuletide moments that bring us all together. Like:

  • Spiraling a Wilson Model #NCAA1055 football at a preposterous target
  • Enjoying a throwback performance of a seminal Phil Spector track
  • Listening to a true story about two stoners and their encounter with a fictional TV lawman

As my fellow insomniacs might also remember:

This was the oddballery provided by the annual David Letterman Christmas Episodes.

From 1986 to 2014, Letterman and the writers working at Late Night and The Late Show would celebrate the holidays by creating some of the strangest Christmas traditions ever seen on television.

The roots to the offbeat humor had an early start. Back in the 1980s when Dave was at NBC, his original Late Night program was a lot like the very early days of Saturday Night Live.

It was as if the grown-up network executives had gone home for supper at the end of the day, but forgot to shut off the lights and lock up – and the kids took over.

Letterman’s anti-show biz and somewhat aloof humor isn’t for everyone. Over the years, he’d been accused of being overly sarcastic, and on some occasions, even bordering on the mean-spirited. After a quintuple bypass followed by some personal soul-searching, his approach to comedy began to change.

The events of September 11 also had a profound effect on the transplanted Hoosier.

The sometimes overly-sharp edged host started to mellow as his talk-show career progressed. and the last few years of his Late NIght With David Letterman CBS program were funnier and better for it.

In his own way, Dave was a sentimental sort. So the idea of establishing holiday traditions – quirky as they may have been – was a nod to his Mid-Western upbringing of creating and keeping lasting traditions.

The three most memorable running segments of the Late Night / Late Show Christmas episodes came about at different times.

The Quarterback Challenge

In December of 1988, New York Jets quarterback Vinny Testaverde was a guest on the show.

Dave’s writers came up with a bit where Testaverde would throw a football and try to score a direct hit on the ornament that served as a topper to the Christmas tree on the other side of the stage.

The festive finial was not exactly the Star of Bethlehem. It was in fact, a meatball. It must not have been Testaverde’s night, because after several failed attempts, the meatball still stood tall.

Watching all of this from backstage was actor and comedian Jay Thomas, who was scheduled to be the next guest on the show.

In a somewhat brazen and completely unscripted moment, he popped out from behind the wings, grabbed a ball – and nailed the meatball on his first try.

The crowd, as you would expect, went wild. Jay came back year after year to try and knock the meatball off the tree. Between Jay and Dave, one of them would always succeed in dislodging the topper, which was sometimes substituted for a slice of pizza. It’s as strange as you would imagine, but oddly satisfying. Here’s a montage:

In addition to his surprising pigskin prowess, Jay Thomas contributed another quirky tradition to the Christmas episodes, sharing what Dave called “the greatest talk show story ever told:”

The Lone Ranger Story

By the time ten years had passed, Thomas and the football bit had become a permanent fixture on the holiday episode.

He would also participate in a typical desk interview, and in 1998, he told The Lone Ranger Story for the first time.

While working as a young DJ at a radio station, Thomas met veteran actor Clayton Moore, who had played The Lone Ranger on television, all the way back in 1946, up until 1957. Jay tells the tale of the meetup, and the ensuing chaos.

Even though it had absolutely nothing to do with Christmas, his delivery of the story resonated with Letterman and the audience. And just like the football bit, a tradition was born. Over the years, like any good anecdote, a few new little facts and funny embellishments were added with each retelling.

Thomas clearly enjoyed his annual odd moment in the talk show spotlight. Even with small yearly tweaks to the yarn, the essential story always had the same punch line, and was sworn to be true.

Here’s the 2006 retelling:

For a talk show host and comedian, David Letterman had an unusually keen sense of musical taste and awareness. So for his holiday shows, he wanted to feature the original singer of what he called, “the only Christmas song that matters:”

Darlene Love Performs “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”

The Jeff Barry and Ellie Greenwich penned song dates back to 1963, and was featured on the holiday album A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector.

Although already considered a great rock-and-soul Christmas recording, the song made the leap to “legendary holiday standard” when Darlene Love began performing it each year on Letterman.

Darlene’s performances of “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” created a tradition that continued for 28 consecutive years. Letterman often noted the significance of Love’s presence, saying that her rendition and participation on the show was a highlight of his holiday season.

It’s interesting to see how the performance expanded throughout the years. The first from 1986 is a fun, almost “bar-band” version.

Over time, musical director Paul Schaffer kept adding musicians and enhancing the arrangement, slowly culminating in a faithful recreation of the original recording’s “Wall Of Sound” – live – right inside the Ed Sullivan Theatre. Featured here is the delightful, pull-out-all-the-stops version of Darlene’s final Letterman performance in 2014:

Darlene continues to perform her Christmas classic, most recently as part of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.

I could never quite put my finger on it:

Exactly how could a collection of a weird football stunt and a random celebrity story – coupled with a 50-plus year-old pop oldie possibly work as a holiday tradition? And why would I seek it out every year?

Maybe the answer is simple. Maybe considering the complexity and difficulties of daily life, we need a break this time of year.

Perhaps some simple fun, joy, and even confounding humor is just what the doctor ordered. It’s all a pleasant reminder not to take things too seriously.

It’s no Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer or A Charlie Brown Christmas. Or even The Star Wars Holiday Special. But it makes me laugh.

Thanks, Dave, for the many years of holiday memories, and the silliness of a simpler time.



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mt58

Your grateful host. Good on you all.

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Virgindog
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December 20, 2024 9:44 am

It’s a holiday tradition in my house, too. My son and I have always been Letterman fans, and the lovely Ms. Virgindog has liked Jay Thomas since his time as a DJ in New York. So when we get together for Christmas, we will invariably watch at least one Lone Ranger/Football episode.

Is “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” the greatest holiday song? I’m not sure I can think of a better one.

Phylum of Alexandria
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December 20, 2024 10:03 am
Reply to  Virgindog

Lots of love for Darlene, but if we’re talking The Greatest, surely we need to consider:

“The Christmas Song” by Nat King Cole
“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Judy Garland

…and of course “Stuff the Turkey” by Alien Sex Fiend

rollerboogie
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December 20, 2024 12:14 pm

The first two for sure. I have not heard “Stuff the Turkey”. Listening now. It’s good.

rollerboogie
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December 20, 2024 12:10 pm
Reply to  Virgindog

As far as I’m concerned, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” is in the running for greatest holiday song (non-religious category), but “This Christmas” by Donny Hathaway edges it out. 3rd place- “This One’s for the Children” by New Kids on the Block. Just kidding. That song is terrible.

rollerboogie
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December 20, 2024 12:15 pm
Reply to  Virgindog

Any love for “Christmas Wrapping” by the Waitresses? Bill, I would think you would have an appreciation for that bass line. It’s killer.

Virgindog
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December 20, 2024 12:23 pm
Reply to  rollerboogie

I love “Christmas Wrapping” and almost mentioned it, but in a fit of realism I decided it’s among my personal favorites but doesn’t really rise to the level of the greats. Fun lyrics and catchy bass and horn parts, but it’s not something you can sing while you go Christmas caroling and wassailing.

Phylum of Alexandria
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December 20, 2024 12:24 pm
Reply to  rollerboogie

It’s a great song, unfortunately diminished for me due to overexposure.

Inspired by a debate I had with my brother-in-law, I’d like to take a poll.

“Christmas Wrapping” sounds most like which other pop band?

A) ABBA
B) Blondie
C) Madonna
D) The Bangles
F) The Go-Gos
G) Til Tuesday
H) The Pretenders

Virgindog
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December 20, 2024 12:36 pm

B) Blondie, but the real answer is The Anemic Boyfriends.

JJ Live At Leeds
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December 20, 2024 1:43 pm

Another vote for B) Blondie.

I share the diminished joy that has come with overexposure. In the 90s it made a refreshing change from the usual suspects. Now its part of the crowd. Although, I have realised that I’ve managed to avoid hearing it so far this December. A few more years of that and I might swing back to it.

For now, I’m sharing the love for Darlene after watching that performance.

rollerboogie
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December 20, 2024 2:37 pm

None of the above. The Waitresses are the Waitresses.

Phylum of Alexandria
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December 20, 2024 2:53 pm

The debate was whether it sounds like Blondie or the Go-Gos (I padded the options so as not to bias responses). It’s obviously Blondie! So I appreciate the few votes of agreement.

cappiethedog
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December 20, 2024 9:20 pm

Laurie Anderson. No.

Romeo Void.

Lead singer Deborah Iyall does the same talking thing on “Never Say Never”.

Blondie is the right answer.

LinkCrawford
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LinkCrawford
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December 22, 2024 1:47 pm

Blondie for me.

rollerboogie
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December 20, 2024 12:05 pm

This is as good of a holiday tradition than any. The early years of Letterman coincided with my high school and college days (80-86) and I think I was the perfect age for his brand of humor. Watching him nightly was routine for my friends and I. When he mellowed out and matured, he seemed part of the establishment he once mocked. I think he even admitted his concerns about that happening. I no longer connected and stopped watching. I think this is pretty common, btw. Nothing that becomes successful, in particular comedy, can stay cutting edge forever.

lovethisconcept
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December 20, 2024 12:41 pm

As a former Hoosier myself, it was mandatory to watch Letterman from time to time, but I was never a huge fan. I did always watch when Darlene Love was on, though.

cstolliver
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December 20, 2024 10:10 pm

Loved this and love Ms. Love on “Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home).” I actually enjoy U2’s version as well though it’s hammy as all get out (maybe because of that).

I am sure it has its detractors, but “Merry Christmas, Darling,” by the Carpenters will always be among my favorites — not just because of Karen Carpenter’s exquisite voice, but because the inherent sadness in it (even before her untimely death) gives it a poignancy unmatched by most Christmas songs (other than “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” perhaps). I do concede that the MOR production, especially at the end, detracts from it.

Last edited 8 days ago by Chuck Small
Ozmoe
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December 20, 2024 10:18 pm
Reply to  cstolliver

I love all of “Merry Christmas, Darling,” even the MOR production. I’m a softie when it comes to that on some Christmas songs. And as you know, cstolliver, the fact that Karen also recording “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” adds to that song’s poignancy in her version. As does for me hearing Judy Garland sing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” knowing that she like Karen was gone too soon.

LinkCrawford
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December 22, 2024 1:50 pm
Reply to  cstolliver

I love “Merry Christmas Darling”. A true favorite. And it’s how my kids know Karen Carpenter. If they hear “Yesterday Once More” or “We’ve Only Just Begun” come on the radio, they’ll ask, “Is this the Merry Christmas Darling lady?”

LinkCrawford
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December 22, 2024 1:57 pm

I watched Letterman religiously from the spring of 85 through about early 88. I would set our VCR to tape each episode and then watch it the next day after school. I fell out of the habit around the end of high school, but his humor and mannerisms were engrained in the brains of me and a few close friends. We were growing up in Indy where he was a local favorite anyways.

I think later he got grumpier and lost some of that creative zing. Still, there are few things that are guaranteed to make me smile as reliably as watching old Letterman clips. He was practically part of our family in the mid 80s.

Since I quit watching by the late 80s, I didn’t know about these traditions, except the Darlene Love one. A sincere thank you to you for the article, mt!

Last edited 7 days ago by LinkCrawford
dutchg8r
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December 24, 2024 11:55 am

I subscribe to Letterman’s YouTube channel, and his staff has been serving up a few lovely holiday themed clips this past week. Here’s one that pretty much encapsulates your entire article, mt! 😁

https://youtu.be/yejg5XXuYI0?si=BUowgexsBVEsRSUt

I love Letterman. I love the daffy old man character he’s evolved into (See his appearances on the ‘Barbara Gaines Show’ on his channel). I would get his books of Top Ten Lists for Christmas as a teenager, then bore my family to tears reading them because I felt every single list was just, that, funny. And I’m in tears from laughing. I somehow scored a Late Night book he put out in like 1985 or something, and there was a retelling of a skit he did for his show that was a short film of his dog and the dog’s internal dialog as captions to screenshots. I don’t recall ever laughing so hard at reading something in my life as I did when I first read through that and the dog goes off chasing a squirrel and screaming “Die, squirrel, DIE!” at it. Trust me, it was really funny. Really.

I too adored the Letterman Christmas traditions, and looked forward to it every year. It was insanely comforting to just slide right in with this goofy family get-together.

They actually did a mini reunion last year with Darlene Love at Christmas on his YouTube channel.

https://youtu.be/Shr8aESYZcY?si=3SHcr9UDt9mfqP69

Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning, mt. 🙂

dutchg8r
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December 24, 2024 12:41 pm
Reply to  dutchg8r

Here’s a supercut of Darlene blowing the roof off the dump for decades….

https://youtu.be/x18rIFgPej4?si=V0x2XkaD2hqh0rTH

cstolliver
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December 24, 2024 1:57 pm
Reply to  dutchg8r

Dutch! Great to see you! Happy holidays!

dutchg8r
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December 24, 2024 3:01 pm
Reply to  cstolliver

*waves*

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours, chuck!!!

dutchg8r
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December 25, 2024 12:09 am
Reply to  mt58

<<>>

And to you, mt. 🙂

cappiethedog
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December 25, 2024 10:37 pm
Reply to  dutchg8r

Barbara Gaines was a trigger. Do you remember the stagehands Pat and Kenny? NBC is very protective of their intellectual property. I can find “Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts” because it appeared on CBS’ The Late Show. My favorite Letterman sketch, which potentially I may never see again, was the two stagehands reading from Thelma and Louise. I’m playing the video as I write. Holy cow. I forgot about Mujibar and Siragul. Mujibar was Siragul’s real boss if I recall correctly. Mujibar would get visibly upset whenever Siragul tried to upstage him. Letterman’s interview with Nastassja Kinski could never happen today.

dutchg8r
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December 26, 2024 11:01 pm
Reply to  cappiethedog

Just for you then, cappie! 🙃

https://youtu.be/0eE2cXr6sWU?si=jWNlsv5HqHu5c04c

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