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To Have and to Hold Accountable: Wedding Song Hits (And Misses)

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As my hubby Tom and I leave town for a few days for the wedding of a friend and former colleague, I’ll admit that “wedding songs” are on my mind.

Some were intended to be. Others became so.

Some are OK. One, I love.

And then: There’s the wretched.

“Oooh! Exactly what I came for, Chuck. Hit me!”

OK. Let’s get that one out of the way:

Paul Stookey’s “Wedding Song.”

Subtitled, “There Is Love.” Or, as anyone burdened to hear it warbled has heard:

“There is loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove.”

So much to hate about this relic:

  • The annoying, unequal reference to “man and wife.”
  • The troubadour nonsense.
  • The biblical reference to Matthew that is out of context.

Since it’s a standard like Yesterday that has been redone hundreds of times, it’s possible there’s a version out there I could tolerate. But I’m not going to waste time looking for it.

It’s a 1.

“Everyone’s a critic.”

Just above it (a 2):

Atlantic Starr’s hammy No. 1 hit from 1987, Always. I hated it from the first time I heard it.

And I knew it was going to be a wedding evergreen. “Ooh, you’re like the sun” is not a great way to start a chorus.

And the male-female duetting at the end sounds like karaoke. (OOH-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooo-ooo-ooo, I will love you so…)

The group can, and has done, better.

Ironically, their ode to cheating:
“Secret Lovers”
– is much better than this snoozefest.

You may be wondering, “Is there a wedding song Chuck likes?”

“I, for one, can’t wait to hear this.”

Actually, yes. There is one. But it’s an album version.

Luther Vandross’ “Here and Now” is another R&B/pop hit that was destined for weddings from the moment of its release. But the record company (I’m guessing) gave it a nasty edit that is second only to Billy Joel’s single version of “My Life” as the worst snipping of an album cut ever.

“Here and Now” the album cut: is a 6.

“Here and Now” the single: is a 3.

More recent is a song by R&B singer-songwriter Leela James.

“All Over Again” might not have been intended as a wedding song.

It could easily be considered a post-coital ballad, But I hear wedding bells when I hear James’ lovely, heartfelt delivery.

“All Over Again” is a 9.

So what’s my 10?

Another song that may not be a wedding song per se. But it’s the song Tom and I danced to at our reception.

Percy Faith’s “Theme from ‘A Summer Place’” will always be my quintessential wedding song.

What’s yours?


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Chuck Small

Journalist-turned-high school counselor. Happily ensconced in Raleigh, N.C., with hubby of 31 years (10 legal).

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ISurvivedPop
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October 8, 2024 4:06 am

Here is a Reddit post from 10 days ago that you might like:
https://www.reddit.com/r/weirdspotifyplaylists/comments/1frbbfk/i_heard_about_good_luck_babe_getting_played_at_a/

And the worst single edit ever is Steve Winwood’s “While You See a Chance.” “Your way-EEEEEE”? Nooooope.

LinkCrawford
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October 8, 2024 1:03 pm
Reply to  ISurvivedPop

That is a FANTASTIC example of a bad edit. Isn’t there a mid-70s Eagles hit that had a pretty terrible edit?

JJ Live At Leeds
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October 8, 2024 8:28 am

I’ve never heard The Wedding Song. Those 14 seconds are enough.

I suggested You Give A Little Love for our first dance – from the end of Bugsy Malone after the food fight. My wife initially agreed but then decided it was too uptempo. Or maybe she was concerned that our guests would take the song as a cue to go to the town with the buffet.

I have a strong aversion to saccharine love songs but Richard Hawley; Baby, You’re My Light fell on the right side of indie credibility and intimacy.

Where we failed was in not interrogating the band as to their intentions. Not that we should have needed to. We weren’t sure how it would work in terms of the first dance but they said we could plug in my iPod to play the tune of our choice and then they’d take over and do their thing.

As Richard Hawley faded out our escape from the dancefloor was stopped in its tracks by the singer announcing that we were required to stay right where we were as the band would now like to give us their first dance. I can’t even remember what the song was but it was exactly the sort of saccharine dirge that I can’t stand. It was either throw a tantrum in front of everyone or grin and bear it for another 3 to 4 minutes. We went with the latter while whispering not so sweet invocations of what we’d like to do to them.

https://youtu.be/QUeLj2xguHI?feature=shared

Zeusaphone
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October 8, 2024 8:28 am

The greatest of all wedding songs is from Harry Belafonte

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MemUgtl2PA

Phylum of Alexandria
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October 8, 2024 8:48 am

By wedding song, are we talking centerpiece tracks, like for the walk down the aisle or the first dance? Or is it any song that could be put on a wedding playlist?

If it’s the latter, I have no hate for “(There Is Love).” It’s pretty as background music. But in the spotlight, the hokeyness is accentuated.

Funny that you went for the theme from A Summer Place, because the song we chose for our procession was “Winter’s Love.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2ShTIcETEs

Wishing all the best for your friends!

Virgindog
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October 8, 2024 9:33 am

Our wedding was small. It was just our immediate families in my parents’ living room, and officiated by my Aunt Joannie who was a notary public. Our dog was there and we had take out Chinese food. If we had any music at all, it was the radio or whatever records my younger cousins Mark and Dave thought they could get away with, but I really don’t remember.

I’m no fan of “Wedding Song” but Stookey’s live album has my favorite version of “Jingle Bells.” I won’t annoy you with it now, but it’s October 8th. I guarantee you that some retail store is already playing Christmas music.

Pauly Steyreen
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October 8, 2024 11:24 am
Reply to  Virgindog

Did Chachi serve as a witness?

Zeusaphone
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October 8, 2024 10:14 am

Mrs. Zeusaphone and I got married at the courthouse and didn’t have a reception, so there was no music. That Atlantic Starr song was the last thing we heard before going in, so it’s our song. When we got home she picked a different wedding song for us to have our first dance as husband and wife.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2Yd4kzANh4

Ozmoe
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October 8, 2024 7:57 pm
Reply to  Zeusaphone

I Do is one of my favorites. A great rave up to play at a wedding, right up there with “Shout” by the Isley Brothers.

Pauly Steyreen
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October 8, 2024 11:27 am

We had a live band with a lot of Rat Pack and boleros playing while they were on break. Our first dance was “Just the Way You Look Tonight.” It was kind of enchanting…

rollerboogie
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October 8, 2024 11:41 am

Fun topic.

I played “The Wedding Song (There is Love)” many, many times at weddings back in the day, and I am not afraid to admit that I liked it. There is a cool chord change on the refrain that has always grabbed me. And not many songs that mentioned God made it onto the radio so it was appreciated in our household. That said, I can see why it would be seen as exclusionary and I have no issues with your p.o.v. on this. I haven’t heard it at a wedding in about 20 years, so I think you may be safe.

I played “Here and Now” at a wedding once and was tasked with the back up vocals, which are even higher than Luther’s lead vocal. I came close to blowing my voice out or worse. But it sure was fun. Love that song.

In terms of music played at the reception, for our wedding, we had a list of banned songs that had just been worn out to death, or in the case of “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”, not appropriate. We told the DJ if he wanted to get paid, he was not to play any of these. He complied, though he threatened to play the Chicken Dance at one point in jest, just to see how my wife would respond, as she deeply hates that song.

Last edited 7 days ago by rollerboogie
mjevon6296
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October 8, 2024 12:21 pm

We were young and sentimental – and had a small church choir sing during parts of our wedding ceremony. The one song we asked them to add to their list of possible songs to be performed was “In My Life” by The Beatles.

LinkCrawford
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October 8, 2024 1:10 pm

I am much more familiar with the Captain and Tennille’s version of “Wedding Song”, and I don’t mean to be contrarian, but I really think that the chorus is beautiful. I’ll listen to that anyday.

“Always” is fine.

Weddings in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are usually in the temple. There is no music during the ceremony. But at the reception (usually fairly modest affairs) there might be. As a young groom (22 years old) I was much too self-conscious to have dancing and all of that, but we did have a background tape of music playing during the affair. I still have that cassette :).

“Our song” has always loosely been “Save the Best for Last” by Vanessa Williams. I would recommend that to anyone. It’s a 10 for me.

lovethisconcept
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October 8, 2024 2:32 pm

When I got married, “Evergreen” by Barbra Streisand was a very popular wedding song. I got a lot of pressure to have it played. I was so against this idea that I just took music right out of the ceremony. I am just not a believer in overly “romantic” sentiments, and that one has always seemed especially drippy to me.

We did have music at our 40th anniversary celebration. I don’t remember everything that we played but “Still the One” by Orleans and “Right Down the Line” by Gerry Rafferty were definitely on there. I much prefer “yeah, it’s been tough but we’re still in it” to “I’ll give you the moon.” I don’t want the moon, I want chicken noodle soup in bed when I don’t feel well.

Our 50th is now closer to us than our 40th. Maybe I should start a playlist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d84Om-HLwTE

rollerboogie
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October 8, 2024 7:37 pm

Right Down the Line is perfect. I was in junior high when it was a hit, and I didn’t get the meaning of the song at all. I sure do now. Great selection!
I also really love this cover by Lucius- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2rHdZXCVCY

Ozmoe
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October 8, 2024 8:01 pm

I have yet to get married (and may never will, and if not, so what?), but anyway, if I did, I would play this utterly gorgeous ballad for our slow dance together. Hell, I’d probably have it choreographed as well, I like it that much. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImoSl0VtoXY

Zeusaphone
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October 8, 2024 10:43 pm
Reply to  Ozmoe

Don’t give up hope. I went from never having considered marriage to tying the knot in nine months and we’ve had 33 wonderful years together, with hopefully many more to come. I recognize that we beat the odds, with neither set of parents approving and having religious and ethnicity differences that normally spell doom for couples. But, when it’s right you find ways to work around those things.

ThinkMusicPhilly
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October 8, 2024 11:39 pm

Our first dance was Absolute Beginners, Bowie covered by Scott Lucas and the Married Men (Scott is the guy from Local H). Our DJs made some kind of mix of the original and cover, so I am pretty sure it was not the full close-to-7-minute song.

https://youtu.be/BEw7DEm7cpk?si=Vv8wkJp95e-tahtv

rollerboogie
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October 9, 2024 11:14 am

Local H! The pride of Zion, Illinois.

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