Anyone who reads my work here knows I’m gay.
I’m upfront about it.
And it’s a part of who I am.
The way my gender,
My religion,
And my ethnicities are.
At my high school, it’s known. In my office I have a picture of my husband and me on our wedding day. I note my marriage and cats in my “getting to know you” faculty page that each of us has for “Meet the Teacher” night.
And it comes up in routine conversation:
Just like my colleagues’ weekends with their spouses or friends.
That said, I’m willing to bet my reputation is, certainly in comparison with my peers is strait-laced.
So what was I doing wearing an orange tutu last Wednesday?
Proving a point.
Typically, public schools where I live in North Carolina take part in a broad anti-bullying initiative during October.
On Unity Day, either the third or fourth Wednesday in October, people are encouraged to wear orange to signify a stance against bullying.
As the National Bullying Prevention Center notes, “Orange is a color commonly identified with the month and the autumn season. It is also a color that is associated with safety and visibility. It is a color described as warm and inviting. And its vibrancy makes an impactful statement.”
OK, then. But why the tutu?
Well, that has to do with the latest round of bullying going on at a macro level.
Our local newspaper reported this week that politically conservative groups decided to take aim at an area male middle school teacher for — gasp! — wearing a tutu last year during a Spirit Week event.
The teacher wore the outfit during a “Barbenheimer” spirit day.
Now the real question — the question the reporter did not cover in his article — is why an event that took place in October 2023 is making waves on social media one year later?
Hmm… Could it be…
That a presidential election is coming up?
That North Carolina is one of the swing states in play? That stirring the pot over gender-related issues might inflame a certain subset of the populace to vote for a certain candidate?
The article doesn’t address any of that. It just took the kerfuffle at face value. But there are lots of problems with that kind of thinking.
First:
The bullies get to take their shots.
Part of the definition of bullying is a pattern of repeated taunting or exerting power and control over another person with a goal to harm, hurt or humiliate.
In this article, the reporter quotes a social media post in which people are to contact the school board to “demand that they stop grooming our kids.”
A post from the area chapter of Moms for Liberty calls the attire “perverse,” and asks “Would you want this 7th grade teacher around your 11- to 13-year-old?”
Let’s be clear: The bullies tried to use the power of social media to threaten the teacher’s livelihood. The school assured the teacher that his job was not in jeopardy. But the threat was there.
Second:
The ahistorical approach does nothing to illuminate the issues.
It was 47 years ago this past week that Anita Bryant received a pie in the face on live television. (An act, for the record, that I don’t condone.)
What brought Bryant and her assailant to that place was her crusade to “save the children” from a school system ordinance that prevented discrimination against gay people as educators.
In other words, this tutu tut-tut is a rerun of a sociopolitical story:
From five decades ago.
And in the intervening five decades, when more and more LGBTQ+ educators have come out: no — zero — reputable studies have documented a link between LGBTQ+ identity and pedophilia.
Instead, what this indicates is more of the unease some segments of society feel with continuing changes in gender roles, increasing power equity between women and men, and more expansive and inclusive definitions of gender. Unsettled by these societal changes, critics use inflammatory language like “grooming” and “perverse” to stir up emotion.
Who suffers in the meantime?
Hopefully, the teacher doesn’t just pack it in at the end of the year, fed up with it all.
(By the way, it’s not clear what the teacher’s sexual orientation is, nor is it relevant. The bullies are taking aim at his choice of clothing not being consistent with what they think his presentation ought to be — and proceeding from there.)
But all of us, not just those of us in education who identify as LGBTQ+, suffer when we refuse to stand up to a bully. We give oxygen to the fire of ignorance instead of tamping it down.
Worse, yet we set a horrible example for the generation of young people coming up (again, all young people, not just those who are LGBTQ+).
So: On Wednesday?
I wore an orange tutu.
And I’ll probably do so again.
I didn’t show any leg, though.
Guess a part of me will always be strait-laced.
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When I think about my elementary and middle school days, one of my regrets is that I didn’t step up and defend the perennial victims who were being bullied. I just sort of watched from the sidelines and thought “I’m glad it’s not me getting picked on.”
It took a long time, well into high school for me to have enough character to speak up and say something. Too little, too late, I’m sure in most circumstances.
Professionals like Chuck who are on the front lines in 2024 have my deep respect and admiration. I hope that your victories outweigh the defeats.
In solidarity, I might head over to Amazon and pick out a nice feather boa or something.
I’m just saying.
Orange and plaid! Chuck, you’re ready for hunting season!
Culture wars are distractions from real issues, and the people who promote them don’t want to talk about the real issues because they have no workable solutions. Any time you hear a politician talk about gender or religion or lifestyle, take a look at their economic, environmental, healthcare, and other policies. Ten to one they’re on the losing side of public opinion.
It’s bewildering to see how something so trivial can be twisted to support a fearmongering point of view.
I always wonder how many people actually hold that view or is it distorted due to the reach of social media where people who shout loudest get the most notice? I hope that for the majority a tutu wearing teacher just isn’t a problem. Though even if it’s only a small number that’s still too many.
Good on you Chuck.
Funny true story: As I was tracking down this ensemble, I wound up finding the boa at, of all places, Hobby Lobby. (As I told my colleagues, “I ought to have gone to Chick-Fil-A afterward!”) Anyhow, I made my purchase and the kid at the register (maybe a high school student himself, maybe early college) said, “Do you need a bag?” Without hesitation, I said, “No, thanks,” wrapped the boa around my neck and walked out.
The superhero I didn’t know I needed.
This is a great story as always, Chuck. And you already know that I too am a fellow North Carolinian dealing with this crap. Lord, from some politicians we have now, you’d think that every kid is going to school and changing genders in one day. Hopefully, given the huge initial turnout we’ve had in the state (more than 1 million ballots cast in early voting so far, which means about 14% of all registered voters in NC), we’ll have things turned around so we get the real issues addressed in our world.