A little more than a year ago, I declared I’d done my “final” K-tel collection review:
That turned out to be premature.
As I recently looked through my albums, I realized I’d left out a few K-tel sets I own. The reason they weren’t reviewed to begin with was that I didn’t buy them (or, rather, my mom didn’t do so) when I was a kid. I picked them up as an adult as various shops and sales.
Early 1974’s “Dynamic Sound” was one such purchase…
(…Actually, two…)
I’d somehow forgotten I already owned the collection, and picked it up a second time.
It’s possible I got the second copy when I absorbed my cousin Georgie’s record collection after he passed away. Whatever the origins, I have two copies of this very, very curious collection.
What makes it so curious?
For starters, it’s low on U.S. Top 40 hits. Six of the 22 tracks failed to be counted down by Casey Kasem.
Heck, the Helen Reddy track, “One Way Ticket?”
It never even made the Hot 100.
It was her first minor chart hit in Australia five years earlier.
In addition, moreso than any other K-tel release, it’s a stylistic hodgepodge.
- From the R&B side of pop, there’s not only the hot Gladys Knight and the Pips track “I’ve Got to Use My Imagination…”
…But also songs from:
- Ronnie Dyson
- The Moments
- The Stylistics
- First Choice
- The Chi-Lites
- James Brown’s “The Payback (Part I)”
- And the Love Unlimited Orchestra’s No. 1 instrumental “Love’s Theme.”
Should be a great pick-up for soul fans, right?
Well… if they like teeny-bop pop, too:
Not only is there the sublime DeFranco Family hit “Heartbeat – It’s a Lovebeat” (criminally edited here) but also solo tracks from both Donny Osmond (“A Million to One”) and Marie Osmond (“Paper Roses”).
And the concluding track from Dawn featuring Tony Orlando:
“Who’s in the Strawberry Patch With Sally?”
It can’t be considered anything other than childish.
- And then, there are the country-pop sounds of Tom T. Hall’s “I Love:”
(complete with his acknowledging loving “bourbon in a glass … and grass” – although you won’t hear that line on Spotify)
- Dobie Gray’s “Loving Arms…”
- and “Virginia (Touch Me Like You Do).”
The latter was recorded by Barbara Amesbury, an artist known in 1974 as Bill Amesbury prior to transitioning.
I don’t know how to characterize Mocedades’ “Eres Tu,” the Incredible Bongo Band’s remake of “Bongo Rock,” Wednesday’s remake of “Last Kiss,” or the Five Man Electrical Band’s “Werewolf,” except to note they all have a home on “Dynamic Sound.”
I had never heard the Gray track (it peaked at No. 61 in Billboard) or the Five Man Electrical Band song (it peaked at 64).
The Amesbury track, which also missed the Top 40 nationally, went to No. 11 on Chicago’s WCFL, where I heard it.
Several K-tel albums have Canadian versions, on which artists from our northern neighbor sub out for U.S. tracks.
As best as I can tell, the Canadian and U.S. versions of “Dynamic Sound” are the same.
That makes sense: Amesbury, the DeFranco Family, Wednesday and the Five Man Electrical Band are all originally from Canada.
Ultimately, despite the clash of styles, there’s more than enough to recommend.
I’m an utter fan of the Knight and Love Unlimited Orchestra songs, and both “Heartbeat – It’s a Lovebeat” and Looking Glass’ “Jimmy Loves Mary-Anne” are among my favorites from 1973.
Top-shelf:
- “I’ve Got to Use My Imagination”
- “Heartbeat – It’s a Lovebeat”
- Dyson’s “One Man Band (Plays All Alone)
- The Stylistics’ “I’m Stone in Love With You”
- The Chi-Lites’ “Stoned Out of My Mind”
- “Love’s Theme”
- “The Payback (Part I)”
- “Bongo Rock”
- “Jimmy Loves Mary-Anne”
Decent:
- Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s “Let It Ride“
- The Moments’ “Sexy Mama“
- First Choice’s “Smarty Pants”
- Mocedades’ “Eres Tu”
- “Last Kiss”
- “I Love”
- “Loving Arms”
- “Werewolf”
- “Virginia (Touch Me Like You Do)”
Yuck:
- “Who’s in the Strawberry Patch With Sally”
- “A Million to One”
Question marks:
- Because it was first a hit for Anita Bryant, “Paper Roses” makes me a bit queasy. But honestly, it was a better record than anything Marie Osmond’s brothers were putting out around that time.
- And “One Way Ticket” sounds completely out of place, which makes sense given the track’s age at that time.
If you want the full versions as opposed to what K-tel edited for the collection, here’s a Spotify set:
On YouTube, you can find the Moments:
Amesbury:
and Reddy tracks.
Which tracks do you love? And which do you hate?
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This is a fascinating curio from the early years of my music awakening.
I didn’t know all of these, but here are my ratings for the ones I did-
Let It Ride- 8
Heartbeat It’s a Love Beat- 7
Eres tú- 10, genuinely moving, even after I’ve heard it countless times.
I’m Stone in Love With You- 5, not their best.
Love’s Theme- 6
I Love- 2, Just awful, and it was his highest charting song on the Hot 100
The Payback (Part 1)- 9.5 (was a 10 before I played it too much.)
Paper Roses- 3, Marie’s voice saves it from going completely down the toilet
Jimmy Loves Mary-Anne- 6
Who’s in the Strawberry Patch with Sally- 1, offensively bad.
You were so right about that Helen Reddy song. Listening now, and it totally does not fit 1973. No idea why it’s here. That said, it’s kind of snazzy. 6.
The version of Werewolf you have on the playlist is no longer playable, but there is an alternate one you can use. Wasn’t familiar with this song. It’s not great. 3.
I hadn’t heard Strawberry Patch but that title, knowing what I do about Tony Orlando And Dawn and seeing it placed in the Yuck section….. It didn’t disappoint me. In that its every bit as awful as I thought it would be.
A charmingly baffling mix of songs.
it feels like K-tel is a little bit desperate with this compilation.The Helen Reddy selection is a great example.
You can just imagine being in the meeting, sitting around a big table when they’re all deciding “what can we get clearance for to put on our next compilation album?“. You can also imagine the phone call with Tony Orlando, with him eagerly agreeing to sign the paperwork in order to be on the record, just for the exposure.
Sidenote: the TO&D image in the article is a still from an actual performance of “ Sally.” song. I highly recommend seeking out the video and having a look, as it is a useful tool when trying to determine a benchmark for “really bad.”
Why not just call them TOAD and get it over with?
And no, I won’t be watching that video. The saxophone solo already made me hate the saxophone as an instrument for a brief moment, and I won’t ever forgive the song for that alone. No more of this wretched trash in any format.
Do it for me. Deliciously bad.
It’s right up there with the Liberace Harpers Bizzare cover .
For you and only you, mt, but I’m having trouble finding that specific video.
It’s an entire in-studio-audience medley of TOAD’s greatest hits.
In the spirit of mercy and compassion, let’s just get to the scene of the crime:
https://youtu.be/uOSXuTAwcTE?list=RDuOSXuTAwcTE&t=159
To parody Hey Jude,
“Take a bad song and make it badder.”
And thank you for using the TOAD acronym. It just feels right, doesn’t it?
I didn’t recognize “Virginia” or Amesbury by name, but hearing it sparked some synapses. It must have been on the radio even if it didn’t chart. Not a bad song at all.
The horns of “One Way Ticket” give it a 1960s Euro-vibe, so yeah, it doesn’t fit with the rest. Still, kinda cool.
You’re absolutely right, Chuck. This is two albums in one. Had they put the Soul on one side and the Pop on the other, it might have made more sense, but this is what radio was like at the time. And I prefer that to the genre-specific radio we’ve had since then.
Or that I program for myself on the streaming services.
Yes, that stretch in the early to mid 70s didn’t care about categories of music. It all was a big jumble, for better or for worse. I kind of miss that.
Random triggered memory:
I was working my way through college in the later 70s playing in a wedding and bar mitzvah band, where all the other musicians were in their 40s and 50s.
Arriving at a gig one Saturday night, I was setting up and overheard our band leader/boss going over some details with the venue wedding-coordinator. I got really excited and corralled the three other guys in the band, and hastily worked up a song. My balding and stoned bandmates silently went along with it.
Later that night, I begged the boss to let me give it a try. With his usual indifference, he shrugged and said, “whatever.”
We did the song. I gave it everything I had and somehow, we got through it without it being a train wreck.
And that’s when I realized that just because I was a Billboard chart geek who would be very familiar with a song that peaked at Number 33, 98% of the population would have no idea of what I was trying to do with such an obscure selection.
Confirming that I was the only one in the room who caught the reference and thought that it was kind of a cool thing to do, exactly one person, an older auntie type, came up to me after we’d finished and said, “That’s was very nice. You went to all that trouble and wrote them a special song.”
I’m pretty sure that this all happened in late September. So, happy 48th wedding anniversary to Jimmy and MaryAnne, wherever you are.
Here’s to random triggered memories!
Totally get that. Now you need to tell us the name of the song. Love that older auntie type. She makes the story really pop.
I played a lot of cocktail music at receptions in my day, and there were plenty of times where no one was paying attention for the entire time I was there. I would play things for my own amusement and enjoyment all the time when it was clear no one cared. Once, I just started playing lounge versions of church songs, Scorpions, whatever, and no one batted an eye. One time the lid of the grand piano came crashing down while I was playing it. No one looked over. I say, indulge yourself every now and then and play that Bay City Rollers song that got to #39 if that’s your jam.
I was trying to bury the lede:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IA9hlzIuJz0
I haven’t been getting these kind of obvious clues at all lately. Thanks for providing the answer straight up for the dense and dimwitted.
You had to do it. The names matched. You would have been upset with yourself if you hadn’t. Props to you!
It comes as no surprise when I like a wimpy song than others really hate. I’ve actually always loved being that guy. But the artist that surprises me the most is definitely Tony Orlando and Dawn. I’m sure part of the problem is that my mom bought me a Greatest Hits album of theirs when I was about 6 years old, and I actually liked about half the songs on the album, and played it regularly. TOAD are like Pat Boone in that both artists generate immediate dislike by name alone. I realize that the personal lives of artists or their politics can cause this too. Tony is definitely a card carrying republican, so maybe that’s part of it, but I think most of the hate comes strictly from the music. And maybe from Tony’s cheesy delivery. (Do you ever feel sorry for the two ladies making up Dawn? Or are they equally guilty by complicity?)
But I just can’t hate it. It’s cheesy, uncool, and unbelievably square, but that’s part of the ironic charm for me. And I don’t just like mild mannered vaudeville themed songs when the Muppets do them…I’m ok with TOAD, too.
I realize that I can’t be objective about it, and I don’t expect 5-plus ratings for TOAD songs, but the 1’s surprise me. But it’s ok! That’s part of the fun of all of this!
That saxophone solo, though, is very weird. Almost sounds like it’s played on a toy.
I really like “Stone in Love with You”. I listened to that Looking (don’t-call-us-a-one-hit-wonder) Glass song, which I didn’t know by title…I may actually remember it. It wasn’t bad! And “Love’s Theme” is a 10/10 every day.
Still…it is a bit of a depressing, desperate looking collection over all. But it may actually be a half-way decent representation of what a middle-of-the-road AM station would have been playing back in the day.
If you tried just a little harder, Link, you could hate Who’s with Sally…
I believe in you. I commented on that sax solo as well. It may be the worst I’ve ever heard.
I do kind of feel for Dawn. Watching them on the video mt posted convinced me that they both succumbed to Stockholm Syndrome at some point and are just trapped.
I will have something positive, or at least semi-positive to say about Pat Boone in an upcoming article.
😆
There are actually a lot of TOAD songs I like, from “Candida” and “Knock Three Times” through “Mornin’ Beautiful.” But this weird retro stretch from “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” (the best of the lot) through “Steppin’ Out (Gonna Boogie Tonight)” are all pretty bad … it’s like someone told them they need to ham it up for their CBS audience or something.
I can see that. Those are definitely fully hammed-up songs.
You know what, I’m going to come out of the closet and admit that Tony Orlando and Dawn absolutely 100% do not bother me at all. I even actively like Knock Three Times and Candida (which, let’s face it, sound very similar). I can even go to bat sometimes for He Don’t Love You, although I fully acknowledge that pretty much every other version of this oft recorded song is better. But, yeah, sometimes I enjoy just surrendering to the uncomplicated sounds of Orlando and Dawn. Thelma Hopkins seems like she’s a pretty cool lady; she’s had quite a varied career outside her Dawn days.
Completely unrelated side note: I’m deaf/hard of hearing and back in the early days of the internet I was trying, without avail, to find the lyrics to Heartbeat, It’s a Lovebeat by the DeFranco Family. I found am email for the DeFranco family and one of the brothers (could’ve been Tony, I really don’t remember) emailed me the lyrics back within about an hour. He was delightful!
Telma Hopkins has been in a bunch of tv shows I’ve watched over the years. Family Matters was first to come to mind.
Nice to see you here, Kingoftunes.
Thanks for the support, KingoftunesSF! I feel like “Candida” is probably their most respected song (so far as I can tell), but it’s good to have someone else enjoy the cheesiness with me.
Kingoftunes!
Great to see you!
Thanks all! I’ve been “lurking” here for quite a while. I always liked this community (both here and over at Stereogum), I just don’t usually feel like I have much to contribute, so I keep to myself!
I remember your comments over at tnocs. You have plenty to say. Don’t hold back!
As a seven-year-old, I was quite smitten with Marisa DeFranco.
Listening to their albums is an adventure. Some songs (the potential singles) had backing from the Wrecking Crew while the others had the DeFranco kids playing their own instruments. The kids aren’t terrible, but the gulf in ability between Hal Blaine drumming and teenage Merlina DeFranco doing so is glaring.
She had to be better than Tracy Partridge on the tambourine.
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/61361613646455389/
(Sigh.)
I may be the only person on here to actually remember “Werewolf.” I’m not quite sure how or where I heard it, but it was definitely on the radio at some point. I loved it because of the way the mother seemed to be rooting for Billy to kill the father. This somehow seemed simultaneously creepy and hilarious to me. (I was young and had discovered substances that were probably also influential in making this very strange record.)
I would swap out “Heartbeat – It’s a Lovebeat” and “Jimmy Loves Mary-Anne” with “Let It Ride” and “Eres Tu” in my “Top-shelf” listing here. Otherwise, it’s all spot on and another great entry by you, Chuck!
P.S. I saw you at the pride parade Saturday and yelled out your name and waved, but I don’t think you saw me. Oh well, guess you were caught up in everything going on around you!
Oh he saw you. We TNOCSers are not supposed to acknowledge one another publicly to protect the anonymity of the fellowship. Oh wait, wrong group…
💀
Sorry, buddy! I did not see you … you’re right. There was a lot going on! I was pleasantly surprised that the rain held off for most of the day, and I was worried the sun was going to come out — I didn’t bring a hat and would have gotten some massive sunburn.