He’s Not The Prime Minister,

He’s A Very Naughty Boy

Where to even start ? !

Its my own fault.

I’d mentioned to mt that I’d just managed to tear myself away from the rolling news coverage of the death throes of our PM, Boris. It had crossed my mind to write something to explain the long running shitshow to those observing from afar. At that point on Wednesday evening, things were changing by the minute. So trying to write something to sum it all up looked pretty challenging.

mt gave a gentle nudge that this dip into current affairs, and explaining how we got to this position would go down well. So now here I am trying to work out how to do that.

Me and my bright ideas.

I guess it all started with David Cameron whose own bright idea was a referendum on whether we should remain in the EU. A loud minority were calling for this but it wasn’t a big issue for most. David thought it would play well with core Conservative voters as well as shutting down further arguments fully expecting the outcome would be a vote to remain.

This is where Boris saw his chance. Pinning down his actual beliefs beyond saying whatever it takes to get into and holding onto power is pretty difficult. He’d mocked the EU in the 90s as a journalist. And since then has covered all areas of the spectrum from supporting membership, to being better off out of it. The move to take centre stage in the Leave Campaign is thought by plenty simply as a means for him to manoeuvre himself towards power.

He announced his support for voting leave in a newspaper column. It later emerged he wrote two versions. The unpublished version professed his support for the Remain Campaign.

Slippery character, indeed.

After the bombshell of the Leave Campaign winning, Cameron took responsibility and resigned. His resignation speech concluded with him still miked up, humming cheerily to himself as he headed back into Number 10.

Probably relieved to be leaving someone else to work out what the hell happens now.

Picking up the poisoned chalice…. was Theresa May. She certainly wasn’t a character. Asked in a TV interview for the worst thing she’d ever done she struggled for a response. And came up with running through fields of wheat as a child. Oh how we laughed. Little did we realise the extreme lurch we were in for. Despite at first appearing to be a safe pair of hands Theresa made a series of strategic mistakes, weakening her position. This left her unable to get an agreement for Brexit and united the party against her to force her resignation in 2019.

Boris picked up the pieces. With all the bluff, bluster and overbearing confidence that a lifetime of privilege had inculcated, he promised to Get Brexit Done and became our new overlord.

Sure enough, he got Brexit done.

Sort of.

Having achieved what he said was a great deal he’s spent the time since then trying to renege on it. Specifically, the bit that impacts Northern Ireland and its position as the only part of the UK with a land border to the EU. To be fair, its a uniquely complicated and thorny problem; whatever the outcome, it is going to anger some. And for balance, its a complicated and thorny problem that Boris is uniquely unsuited to sorting out, given his unwavering lack of diplomacy.

In December 2019 he achieved an impressive victory in the General Election which allowed him to push through his Brexit plans. This combined achievement is something he hasn’t stopped banging on about since. Every criticism has been met with his assertion that he has the mandate of the people to get on and do what he likes. Sorry, govern.

Since then its been the slowest moving car crash in history as one by one self made disasters from him and his party came to light building a case against his judgement, integrity and suitability for the role.

tnocs.com uk clandestine station operator jj live at leeds

He initially failed to take Covid seriously. In the period where much of Europe was hit by the first wave and shutting down, Boris carried on as normal. Even visiting a hospital to shake hands with patients to show there was nothing to worry about. To no great surprise he was soon back in hospital as a Covid patient himself. On recovering he actually adopted an air of humility and understanding never before seen.

It didn’t last.

He supported numerous members of his team when they were found to have broken various rules leading to questions over his integrity.

An investigation found Home Secretary Priti Patel had bullied staff. According to the ministerial code this should have resulted in her being relieved of her position. But Boris decided not, leading to his ethics adviser quitting instead.

One of his MPs was found by the government internal standards committee to have broken rules on paid lobbying by MPs. This should have led to him being suspended. But Boris decided that the preferred course of action this time was to change the system. And to get his MP out of it. That didn’t go down well. Boris apologised and the MP resigned.

Boris wasn’t done with standards though, he returned to it later and changed the ministerial code removing the requirement to resign if in breach of it and removing reference to honesty, integrity, transparency and accountability.

Then there was the big one.

Partygate.

A steady stream of revelations detailed numerous parties held at Downing Street, when the rest of us were subject to restrictions on our movements and gatherings. The parties featured heavy drinking, karaoke, fights and damage to property including infamously Boris’ son Wilf’s swing being broken.

Boris was in attendance at some of these and was fined by police. An outcome some felt should result in his resignation.

He consistently trod the line that no rules were broken as the stories kept coming out. As well as the police fine a damning report criticised the culture and leadership at Number 10. Boris apologised, said he took full responsibility while appearing to take none as others lost their jobs. And then changed his line to say that he didn’t believe he had been breaking the rules.

Despite widespread anger, Boris retained the support of the majority of his MPs until June when enough of them had grown tired of defending him, or were concerned that continuing with him in charge would result in being wiped out at the next election. A confidence vote was held which he won in an unconvincing manner. The rules meant he was supposedly safe from the threat of his party overthrowing him for the next 12 months.

This was followed by two by-elections. Held in one case due to the incumbent Conservative MP receiving a prison sentence for sexually assaulting a 15 year old boy. And in the other case, the Conservative MP resigned after admitting watching porn in view of colleagues while in Parliament. His initial excuse was he was looking at tractors and accidentally accessed a porn site with a similar name.

We’ve all been there haven’t we? One minute you’re getting a weird feeling in your groin looking at a powerful John Deere thrusting through a field of wheat, the next you’re watching thrusting of a different sort.

tnocs.com uk adjunct minister of agriculture jj live at leeds

The Conservatives lost both by-elections badly. Leadership insisted there was nothing to worry about, business as normal. This did nothing to appease the growing dissent.

And then the final straw. One of his MPs resigned his duties as Deputy Chief Whip having been accused of assaulting two men. Turns out he’d been accused of this sort of behaviour before Boris gave him a job.

Boris did his usual thing of at first denying he knew about that but other sources contradicted this.

His team finally gave up on defending his lies. On Tuesday evening (July 5) two of the mainstays of his government quit. This was followed on Wednesday by a tidal wave of resignations. Boris maintained his default position that he would carry on, even sending out a lackey late on Wednesday to say that he was feeling ‘buoyant’, and that it was all under control and going to plan.

Any buoyancy was purely down to the amount of hot air he produces.

As the resignations continued Thursday morning, even he had to admit defeat before it wound up with just him and Larry the Downing Street cat running the country.

Actually, Larry might do a better job.

A policy of being tough on mice would probably translate well to the right wing of the party.

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So we’re now eagerly awaiting the outcome of the leadership contest. Which way will we lurch now? In the interim Boris has expressed a wish to carry on into the Autumn while a new leader is found. Some feel this is because he thinks he’ll somehow work out a way of staying in power in the meantime. His resignation speech was more of the same. No recognition of any mistakes, pinning the blame on others and calling the decision to oust him as ‘eccentric’.

An opinion poll on the day showed he clearly still hadn’t read the mood. Only 12% thought he was wrong to resign. Its fair to say he’s done a good job of achieving one of his aims; uniting the country. He just didn’t envisage it being against him.

It was fun reading into Joe Biden’s official statement which didn’t even mention Boris. Instead it focused on continuing “the special relationship” going forward. No love lost there it seems.

Boris will be ok. He may present the image of a bumbling idiot with perma-ruffled hair. But its a carefully cultivated image, a caricature of himself. He’s got the arrogance that he was born to lead. But personally I don’t think the fact he’s been rejected will register. He really doesn’t believe any of this is his fault so there’s no need for introspection or self doubt.

I can’t say what his political legacy will be. He didn’t appear to have any overriding ethos or sense of forward planning. Its always seemed to be about the pursuit of power and then hanging onto it for its own sake.

tnocs.com renowned UK political wonk JJ live at Leeds

There’s a lot of people that express the opinion that all politicians are the same. And it doesn’t matter who you vote for because it won’t change anything. I don’t subscribe to that.

He may not be in the same league as Trump but Boris really was something else.

I sincerely hope for less interesting times. A leader with integrity that I can trust may be too much to wish for, but I’m prepared to be optimistic for now.

Whoever comes next can’t be any worse.

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